Monday, May 29, 2006


I am annoyed. Progress has been slowed to a halt on nearly all my projects.

1. The test commercial - the compositing has been held up even more because the animator is in hospital. (this project has been 24 months in post production already... this is disgustingly slow and NEVER to be repeated) Of course, I cannot really upset at him because he might be really sick. But it is yet another mishap in a story full of mishaps... but the time has come for me to get this project finished because ALL of my projects are due to be finished. (The hidden truth us that I have never been in a hurry to finish this project because I KNEW I would need to get more work together for my showreel before putting it together... but I now, at last HAVE that 'more work' and it is time for me to get it all done.)

2. The music video - the artists/management are sitting on their arses not sending me the remastered uncompressed copy of the song for me to arrange an output of the video. Also the editor made a boo boo and kept on telling me that he had the most recent uddated version of FCP pro when in fact, he didn't. So I have had to send the DVD out to him for him to upgrade his system before he can do the re-colouring on the new edit that I worked on.

3. The short film. My on-line editor is sick (see 1) so this means that the colour grade and VFX work might be delayed. Also, the sound editor is busy and will have trouble fitting in the job.


I am the victim of circumstance. Progress has been slow and I have been wasting a lot of time doing nothing. I have money trickling in and haemoraging out which is not good at all.

It is hard... but I need to re-gain control and make sure everything is done in order to complete this project.

I have let things slide for a while.

Which was fine.

But now it need to be brought back on track. Because I am SO CLOSE to completing them and then entering the next stage. And this stage I have been blogging about reaching for AGES and AGES. It is embarrassing when I realise how slow I have been. And the fault is all mine.

I am so close I can taste it... I cannot... WILL NOT let anything stop me.

Because the reality is... that when I enter that stage... the hard work will only just BEGIN. And that is as frightening as it is exciting and I want to get there before my 28th birthday... which is in 3 weeks.


Friday, May 26, 2006

i started to write a post...

... and then decided to watch episode 17 of lost instead.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

My Life is Dull

For fucks sake.

I'm not fucking working... money is tight and my projects keep getting delayed and delayed and delayed.

and I NEED them completed to finish my showreel so then I can try and get some REAL work.

Constructiveness is inversely relative to time.

The more time you have: the less you do.

I suppose because in my head 'i have all day'

But all I seem to do is nothing.

Well for the last two days anyway.

I'm getting bored of this.

But the HARD ROCK HALLELUJAH is the ringtone on my phone now and that makes me happy.


Saturday, May 20, 2006


The LORD OF DOOM is over the moon that Lordi won the Eurovision Song Contest for FINLAND - My mother country!

I am half Finnish and have been following the story of these HARD ROCKERS for the last few weeks -hoping against hope that they might bring glory to the arctic lands. Last night when they were declared the winners me and my Finnish mum were cheering and dancing like maniacs.

After years of shame and disastrous failure we, attain victory so sweet and perfect that it brings genuine joy to my heart. I am unbelievably proud and happy.


What a relief that these brought bring a sense of IRONY and MISCHIEF to the Eurovision Song Competition. Too many countries take it too seriously and are busy patting themselves on the back. Fuck 'em - It's all about theHARD ROCK HALLELUJAH!



PPS. UPDATE At 00:45 on 21st May I just was on LBC 97.3fm radio talking to their new presenter about the Finnish win live across London! WOO HOO!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

How to make sushi - in London

Last Friday I made sushi for my mum, my sister and my girlfriend. It came out very well. It always comes comes out well. That is because sushi is piss easy to make.

Now that I have done it a few times I think it is time for me to pass some of the knowledge on because that is the way of the world.



If you want to learn about bacteria and parasites and what they do to the human digestive tract then I invite you to break this GOLDEN RULE at your leisure.

But if you want to be smart then I recommend STEVE HATTS FISHMONGER in Islington.

Steve Hatts Fishmonger
88-90 Essex Road
London, N1 8LU

Tel: 020 7226 3963
(like most decent fishmongers they are closed on Mondays - I get off at Angel Tube and walk)

They are very helpful and knowledgable - all you need to do is tell them that you are making sushi and ask them what's fresh from that morning. You can also tell them that I sent you... describe me by my physical appearance and tell them that I was the guy who was paranoid about dying... but who keeps coming back.

Anyway, I recommend (for beginners)

1. SALMON ( ask them to scale and fillet it)
2. TUNA (ask them to cut into a decent sized steak)

For Advanced Badboys (don't try and be flash and do this on your first time making sushi)

3. Sea Bass (scaled and filleted - ALL bones taken out) Use this for Sashimi only (serve with thin slices of lemon)
4. Halibut (Very expensive - be warned!)

If you want to amaze your dinner guests then I would suggest buying a small jar of Lumpfish Roe (about a fiver I think, but very tasty when used in moderation). You can use the larger Salmon eggs but they are expensive and they taste quite fishy.


Buy the rest of your ingredients from the Japanese Centre near Piccadilly.


SUSHI RICE (other types of race are not acceptable)

Expensive does not mean the best - ask the people in the shop what Japanese people buy.

You will also need:


and the SHARPEST KNIFE YOU HAVE - if you are rich then buy a sashimi knife... but you don't have to do this straight away.



uy a book on how to make sushi/or do a search on google.
I know I said I would tell you how to make sushi, and I AM. The hardest part is finding a decent place to buy the fish - I have done that for you.

With the Tuna and Salmon you bought, it should be quite easy to have a go at cutting Sashimi pieces. Just copy the style and shape that you have seen in your favourite sushi places.

Eat these with plain sushi rice that has been seasoned with toastes sesame seeds.

Use CUCUMBER and AVOCADO as other fillings and then make MAKI rolls (filling, rice wrapped in sea-weed) It's messy but very fun.




(You will need a bowl of water with a tablespoon of sushi vinegar added nearby. Dip your hand into this every time you grab some rice.)

TRY AND PLAY SOME JAPANESE MEDITATION MUSIC whilst doing all of this- SUSHI is as much a state of mind than anything else. Have fun. It TAKES HOURS when you first do it.

There is much more to it than this - but nothing substitutes for experience and I've given you more info that I had when I started... so have a go and we'll compare notes another time... and then I'll give you some more advanced recipes.

Good luck


Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Day to Day

In my day to day encounters it is common for me to meet those who are more:





than me in aspects of movie-making, and decison making and blah de blah. I accept that Intelligence IS over-rated. But seldom do I ever meet those who possess more native intelligence than I.

More common, however, are the people I meet who are truly stupid in the low-intelligence sense of the word.

Most of the time I dumb down my intelligence, and I pretend to be stupid and/or ignorant. I do not consider this to be cause problems with how others perceive me because intelligence itself can be a curse.

I know I am intelligent + and this makes me arrogant = problems with people.

Better to play it down and work on my people skills. But sometimes this does not work. Because the worst people I can go up against are idiots. Because they are too stupid to recognise when they are wrong.

And I have trouble dealing with them.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

The Shield Season FIVE - A Review

I am onto episode 5 of the 11 and it is probably the most intense and well written drama on television I have ever seen.

So much has been invested into the characters and the plot lines over the past four seasons that finally with the introduction of the Kavangh character it has turned the world upside down... and given Vic Mackey his nemesis.

In the truest sense the dramatic qualities have been perfectly conceived. A lot of Amercian TV drama is written with 5 Seasons of material planned from the very start. Not every show get to go the total run, Season 3 was a bit of a let down - and fuck me if I ever thought season 4 could be bettered.

Because it has.

I'm truly tense, exciting, nervous and terrified when I'm watching each episode. The makers of the show deliberately tipped their hand just enough to let us know that this is gonna be the end...

One way or another.

And I love it.




I have just finished the last of the 11.

And it looks like there will be another 10 next January - this season 5 is split into 2 groups actually totalling 21 episodes all together... I cannot fucking believe what just happened at the end of 05-11. And I am just gonna have to wait.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

A minature Essay

For those of you seeking something different from your daily read- here is a short essay I wrote today about the 1985 Sci-Fi Movie The Quiet Earth. I wrote it because I actually believe that everybody who saw this film understood it wrong. It is not a science fiction movie at all. It is a film about the afterlife.



It is my belief that The Quiet Earth (1985) is an obvious story of the personal purgatory of the lead character Zac, based within the frameworks of modern religious paradigms.

It is my film beleif that the religious story here is not a metaphoric story - it should indeed be taken literally. The entire red herring of the Grid and the Effect should be ignored - the characters themselves struggle to come to any consensus and even then it is dismissed as conjecture.

The movie begins after our protagonist Zac's suicide and starts with his arrival into the next life. Zac's visit to the church and the appearance of the figure of Jesus Christ clearly contextualises the religious story within Christian ideology. This is neither a subtle theme nor a gentle metaphor. After his suicide he wakes and finds himself condemned to suffering in a place far from God

Literally Zac is in hell - but it is not Dante's depiction of hell with fire and brimstone, instead it is a more cold and harrowing place: An empty Earth devoid of love and and any spiritual quality - it is own Hell.

Acknowledge the revelations that Zac has gained every material possession that he could ever wish for and that fact that he also declares himself the president of Earth, and it compounds this idea further. Once Zac satisfies the very human vanities of power and wealth he is still alone and very much in torment.

Trapped in hell, Zac demands for God to show himself and in protest he then fires off a shotgun into a statue of Jesus on the cross in the same five spots that jesus was wounded in during his crucifixion.

This metaphor is crude but is revelas the contempt that Zac has for his own lack of salvation which becomes more apparent when he declares himself God and then seeks to destroy as much as he can.

It is in the futility of this moment when he stares into the flames ( the only traditional depiction of hell) of the burning building that he recognises his situation. About to turn the shotgun on himself and repeat the cycle he stares into the flames and experiences his revelation.

The exact nature of the revelation is unclear but it is obviously the beginning of his transformation and eventual salvation - subverting somewhat, the Christian notion of purgatory as a place that cannot be escaped from, and adopting a more modern Baha'i ideology. The Baha'i belief of hell is of a place not of fire and brimstone but of a place when man, lacking spiritual qualites, is thrust into a new world that he cannot understand - like a child born into this world with no eyes or ears. Signifiicantly the Baha'i believe that progress can still be made in the afterlife and within this paradigm is the road that Zac must follow to redeem himself.

We next see Zac appearing naked in the sea in an obvious reference to baptism - now that he has chosen his path it creates an opening for the other characters to appear.

The two characters appear and then themselves reveal that it was indeed death also that led them to this place. The flashbacks sequences and exposition that the character use follows the principles of the NDE (Near Death Experience) popularised by Raymond Moody during the 1970's in his book 'Life After Life"

The girl significantly speaks of Heaven as the 'light at the end of the tunnel' that she yearned for more than anything - her regret at being returned to the earth is obvious.

At the end of the movie when Zac sacrifices his own life to save the others. He experiences the same near death expericne but this time he reaches the light and then re-appears on a sandy shore staring out at the sea.

The clouds, the sky, the sea, the sun - he is clearly redeemed by his selfless actions - and find himself in Heaven.

No clearer allegory have I ever seen.

Copyright 2006 Lord of Doom

Wound Up

I don't know why yesterday wound me up so much - but I had probably the worst day I have had in a while.

I delivered the first cut of the video to the artists feeling to myself that it would be fine and that they would like it.

They both watched it and whilst their reaction was quite muted they did seem to like it. At least they told me so anyway. They also told me about some other tunes of theirs which I listened to and of my favourite I told them I could do a cool video to it.

"If you don't let me do the video to that tune I'll firebomb this place"

They laughed and all agreed.

So - if they want me to do the next one then they must think I know what I'm doing.

Anyway, the call yesterday and the subsequent to-ing and fro-ing from the editors and producer and clients on the phone was draining.

Fact: It is totally unheard of for the clients to say FINE - WE LOVE THE VIDEO AS IT IS.

But I wasn't fully prepared for it - again this is a thing that experience is teaching me. Next time I will be more ready to hear this... but because it caught me off gaurd I was vexed and frustrated.

More so, however because the editors kept on telling me that they'd made the video as choppy and quick as they could. They kept repeating that they'd done all they could and they shown it to other professionals who said it was a well cut video.

Which is largely irrelevant because the client is the client - even if they pay with peanuts -they still need to get what they need to get.

Also I did some chopping and changing of the music on my short film and after about 4 hours of fucking about I got fucked off and then deleted it all because it was shit.

And the meeting today I was supposed to have with the new music guy has been cancelled until tomorrow or Friday.

So I don't know what to do.

Maybe I'll have a look at this feature script I was working on.

Oh yeah - that proper paid job - I got it. But the dates were wrong. It's for 2 days in JUNE. A sort of 2nd unit director/floor manager job on a corporate video.


Tuesday, May 09, 2006


Yesterday I had a bit of a mad afternoon collecting and delivering the First Cut of the Music Video.

Then I had to record the voice over and some spot effects for my short movie. One of the sound effects involved punching myself in the face. Nice.

Anyway - today I got a call from the music people.

"We don't like the editing. It needs to be more 'cutty'."

There's a chiche if ever I heard one.

I spoke with the editors and they say are hard pressed to find any more footage to cut with - saying that the footage simply isn't there.

They say either

The Lip Synch is out

Or the Framing is shit

Or the Lighting is wanky.

So they are squeeze in a few more hours and then hand me the edit. People management is always hard when there is so little money involved and sometimes it is better just to have a look myself.

So then I'll have a go at cutting it - and seeing how much Lord of Doom magic I can throw in.

Which I guarantee will be fucking loads.

But I'm the director so I know what we shot and how far we can push it. I've had a chat with my producer to discuss it all ... well it's boring to go into.

Anyway, tomorrow I have a meet with the guy who should be sorting me out some music for my short film. I've decided to ditch off the licensing of the proper track because the license they are offering simply isn't good enough.

This way I retain complete control.




Monday, May 08, 2006

I've Seen the Future:

Holy shit.

Anybody with more than an interest in listening to music and a broadband connection should go to this website now.

iTunes is dead. is the way of the future.

Go there now.

And remember who sent you.

Cos I'm not fucking joking - fuck about with it for 30 minutes and you'll be hooked like a crackwhore.

It is the best thing I have ever seen on the internet.


Friday, May 05, 2006

Two Phone Calls.

Generally I resist revealing information about possible leads because more often than not things go nowhere... and it's just anti-climactic and boring for you to read.

But I got a phone call today.

And I picked up a message that was left for me a week ago too.

Phone call 1.

From the Camera Operator from the first performance music video I shot about a year ago I got a call offering the possibility of a job, directing a mobile camera unit on a corporate video which is shooting next week. 4 Hours work. Decent enough hourly rate.

Not fabulous - BUT significantly, the first paid job I have ever been offered as a director.

Phone call 2

A message left for me 7 days ago which my shit cunt phone only sent to me now. My own fault because I know I should check my messages but alas I never did.

Anyway, this is from a guy I met down the local record shop about 18 months ago. I talked to him about music videos and stuff and we went to MacDonalds and I bought him a coffee. He's done his own album and I wanted to talk to him about doing a low budget music video.

I haven't been able to reach him yet but who know... maybe another music video is coming up.

Either Way the lesson here is:

Sow the seeds and they grow.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Back to the Edit

After needless hassle and inconvenience I have upgraded my edit suite and got the project file for my short film back from the editor. Instead of splitting the work it seems that I am going to do the edit myself.

This is good because as director I have the total freedom to take the edit as far out as possible and I know the boundaries of the project and the style - plus it allows me to be creative and experimental.

Once the donkey work is done and the footage digitised, logged, assembled and a first cut is put together: it then comes to the fine-tuning . This is where the real creativity and subtlety comes into action - and the real EDITING takes place.

In short: I love it.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Directing Showreel.

I am genuinely excited about this music video I just shot. I have seen the first basic edit and I am very impressed with the results.

There is a lot that went wrong and in the edit there is a lot of time to reflect upon this. But there is also a lot that went right.

In this instance the stuff that went right totally outweighs out the stuff that went wrong. And the stuff that went wrong did so because of my own inexperience.

But - since this is only my 2nd music video I think I did alright. To be fair to myself and all of those involved it is a learning curve. If I was a master music video director I'd be getting paid megabucks and travelling around the world to exotic locations.

But for now I must settle for £10 expenses and a dingy warehouse in Central London.

There is a strong probability that this will end up on at least one music channel available to digital viewers and a chance that maybe it will be picked up by another, bigger channel. But I don't really know. I'd love to link to a clip here but I don't want to comprimise my anonymity.

Anyway - this video has filled me with confidence - in itself it probably won't be good enough to guarantee me paid work BUT it will definately be able to get me more opportunities to direct more low budget videos for bigger and better artists with more money.

And once it is completed along with 2 other projects that currently need completion it will then be featured on my SUMMER 2006 DIRECTING SHOWREEL. (which has been a loooong time coming)

Which I hope will be enough to start me on the course of professional work.

Perhaps I will sell special limited edition copies of my showreel on this blog.

What do you think? What would you pay for a signed copy of my reel on DVD?

You'd be supporting an out-of-work artist.