Monday, August 29, 2005

Somebody fucked up

As you might guess from the title of my post: Somebody has fucked up. My FINAL and BIGGEST project on my showreel has been delayed because of a technical fuck up.

It was one of three people. A, B, or ME.

Ultimately I take responsibility for the fuck up because it is my project and I am the one who is charge. In real terms it was either A or B who fucked up but it is ME who has to liase with them both to fix it.

It will take me until tomorrow to find out who exactly who fucked up, but to be honest I don't really care, all I want to do is finish this project. I want to get to the next level... and in real terms I am as close as 2 weeks away from that next level.

And that next level is being able to taut myself as a commercials/music video director and chase after profession and proper work. I just want to be there already - I have been waiting so fucking long already and any delays now are just irritating.

Fuck it, you guys are probably bored of me whining on about my pathetic ambitions - but that is what this blog is. My own rant space.

I am gonna now do some re-writing on the short script.


Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Test Commercial

My Directing showreel is about 85% complete. The final and biggesrt project is about 7 days away from completion. I spent this afternoon at the compositor's home in West London.

For those of you who don't know technical terms - the compositor is the person who puts the elements of any computer animated footage together. IE. We have a live action foreground and a green screen background with 3d animated elements combined with the foreground.

The animation has been completed by the animator and he rendered it out and gave it to me. I them gave it to the compositor who has to overlay the animated elements to the exact position they need to be. He then needs lock the position of the animated elements to the movement of the camera. (this is quite easy because the movement were straightforwards. Once the animation has been 'tracked' he then has to put in the background over the green screen - this also has to be tracked and locked. The transparency and lighting effects also need to be taken care of here.

To make things tricky we have a reflection in a mirror which also has to be composited - it all seems quite complicated but provided that I stay on top of things in pre-prodution and then in shooting then in post-production it is simply a case of workig through the tasks one by one.

Nonetheless, I saw the rough renders today and I can say that I am shocked at how good it is all coming together. Also I am rather awed by the fact it is coming together exactly how I envisionaged.

This is testimony to the fact that I MUST stick to my guns and make sure I get what I want because I know it IS possible... and I need to believe in myself and what I want. As the director it is my job to have the master plan and vision. I have to believe in that.

A lot of the time creative things happen by accident. But a lot of the time they do not.

Anyway, I need to get together some images for the pack shot at the end of the commercial. But first I need to watch some more of series 4 of 24.

Tomorrow I start going through the CVs for the casting of this short film I am making.

Peace and love my children


Saturday, August 20, 2005

Night out

I went out in the end.

It was okay.

I was not impressed by the rascals in one of the clubs who were blatantly there to steal handbags and shit.

How did I know they were up to no good?

1. They were not dancing.

2. They weren't even eyeing up girls.

3. When the breakdancing started and everybody crowded around the dancers to have a look - they were the only ones who did not. They stayed back. As did I - keeping an eye on the shit that needed to be looked after.

Anyway, I met a dude who works for a big advertising agency (a VERY big one) he was quite impressed by my music video and I took his number and I'll send him a copy of my showreel when it's done.

That takes the number of people interested in my showreel up to: FIVE.

In all fairness, he is quite low down the food chain AND it is a 'creative' agency and NOT a production company so really and truly he is not the right person to see my reel.... BUT all exposure is good exposure.

On another note: it is SO boring having leching cunts drooling over my girlfriend.

It really winds me up that I cannot leave her alone for 10 fucking seconds before some cunt tries it on with her. She'll blatantly point me out to them and they still don't fucking care. And as we walk down the road, pissed up cunts kept on commenting and staring at her and her friend.

Hot or not, it is no fucking excuse for being a pratt.

London is full of cunts.

And it BORES me.

It really, really bores me.

Anyway, I took her home, had a cup of tea and a cuddle. Then I came home.

Now I shall watch episode 19 of Lost.

Night night


Friday, August 19, 2005


Yuck yuck yuck.

Codeine, I have discovered makes me feel fucking sick.

I lay in bed last night... nauseous and tired unable to sleep because of the fucking codiene and coca-cola mix I had before sleeping.

Now I am awake and I cannot be arsed to go out tonight.

But I made plans with my girlfriend and her mate to go out in town. There is a private party I should go to. It is being arranged by the geezer I did one of my low budget music videos. One of my old friends is gonna be there too.

I should really show my face but I cannot be fucked. There is another music video I want to do for this dude, AND he owes me money - so tonight would be a good time to 'collect' and talk plans for the future.

But I don't want to go.

What should I do?

The weather is shite. I feel lazy and I should really get on with some things tonight.


Wednesday, August 17, 2005


Being a sentimental bastard I want to keep comments LONGER that the fucking 6 months that cock sucking Haloscan allows.

So I have REINSTATED the old style comments- which I hope laste.

And LOST all of your precious comments FOREVER.

Which upsets me.

sorry for the lack of posts, I have been occupied with pretending to be busy.

Peace and Love


Tuesday, August 09, 2005

The Flip Side

It is 04:48am and I am lying in bed.

I am contemplating the things I have to do. I am contemplating the list of tasks I have set myself.

I think of my peers - those who have acheived success ansd those who have not.

I think of my girlfriend - she has faith in me. But what if her faith is misplaced. What if I really don't have what it takes?

Or maybe - I DO have what it takes, but I am simply never lucky enough to get the right opportunities to make it happen.

This is doubt.

I acknowledge it's presence, but I will not let it alter my course of actions. I WILL go through my list of tasks and complete them all.

After that I simply do not know.

The world is full of people who will say, "no."

Do I have the skills to make them say yes?

Saturday, August 06, 2005


In 2 and a half hours I will finish work and then have FIVE weeks off work to complete my task.

(I thought) A friend of mine was going to lend me their Mini DV camera next weekend but she has backed out which is a bit jarring because that is quite an important thing for me to get hold of.

This means I might have to buy one - and this is a bit cost just to shoot the fucking back drop to my DVD showreel.

No matter.

There are other tasks I can be completing I suppose. But I still think I am going to have to buy one anyway.

I feel I have so much shit to do, I need to write a bit to do list and then work my way through quickly and efficiently.

Honestly, I am slightly nervous, I am not really sure why - I suppose it is the uncertainty, but fuck it.

I also have a minor cash flow problem which is going to be a bit of a nuisance.

Wish me luck boys and girls


PS. I heard somewhere that the definition of luck is Preparation Meets Opportunity. So I suppose I don't need luck. I just need to prepare myself.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Shopping List

This is what I have bought in the last 24 hours.

1 x Medium sized glass fishtank

35 x Multi Coloured Glow-Sticks

50 x lightscribe DVD+R blank discs

1 x KFC Zinger Tower Burger Meal with 3 spicy hotwings.

Three of those purchases fit in with my master plan.

One will just make me a fat cunt.

But like a game of chess the pieces are fitting into place. My time has been booked off work, my plans have been made. In short: I have commited to my course of action, and I feel alive.

Two people want to see my showreel and I have promised them FOUR WEEKS - and that was 4 days ago - so it now means I have a proper deadline now.

All good fun.

And I have a casting spec to write up for this upcoming short film - part of me wants to wait until that is done before I put together my reel... but fuck it, I cannot wait, or I'll forever be waiting for the 'next' project.