Tuesday, February 28, 2006


Okay. I need to make another short film. There are various local production funds available for money between £2,000 and £10,000. I want to make a film so bad that it makes me want to shit.

I have enough technical skill, experience and contacts to make this film effectively. I am looking for the next project to form the next step in my film making evolution.

BUT I need a script.



I am deadly serious.

The rules.

1. Your idea must not be shit.

2. It must be engaging.

3. No subject or theme is off limits.

4. Be careful- with film the idea is to SHOW and not TELL. So avoid too much dialogue.

5. Any concept that can be described as edgy, passionate, strong, powerful, funny, violent, beautiful, engaging, disturbing will automatically arouse my attention.

6. Anything that can be described as cliched will annoy me. I don't want to hear about God and the Devel playing chess... or East London gangsters.


The winner will have the pleasure of developing the idea with me. If it is good enough it will win the neccessary financial awards and then be made into a short film.

For you, my precious readers, there is nothing quite like this as an opportunity.

enquires in comments or via email

Lordsofdoom AT hotmail.com



Anybody want to help me?

I want a savage, engaging and visual script to enter into a local production fund award. The money is not vast: £2,000 - but maybe enough to do something magical.

I have an opening idea - which involes a doberman, a cage, a cheeseburger, and a somebody with information.

Any suggestions...?

Monday, February 27, 2006

It's the Mickey Mouse Club

I got a call out of the blue a couple of days ago from a girl I dealt with about 18 months ago. Back then she wanted a music video done and I had a meeting with her about it. Nothing happened after - she didn't follow up with anything so it never went anywhere.

Cut back to the present and she is back on the radar.

Wanting (as usual - because they ALWAYS want it like this) a music video done for next to nothing. I've sent a few emails to my producer and he's broken down what is gonna be possible for the money available and it's pretty funny to read.

It would be more appropriate to rename our collective: The Mickey Mouse Club.

The crew of the MMC will get paid - only £50 a day. But they will still get paid because they will be talented professionals. On a short film they will often work for nothing because a short film is 'art' - and for better or worse, that is the passion of a lot of people. But music videos ... FORGET ABOUT IT. Somebody is gaining something... and only desperate wannabess want the piss taken out of them. There are only so many total freebies that you can get out of people.... so unless it is considered art it needs to pay something. I'm not getting paid, but the actual crew who turn up and bust their asses all day - we HAVE to pay them something. From the runner to the Lighting Camera - they all get the same.

The problem facing the Mickey Mouse Club is that most people at the lower echelons of the music industry are a waste of fucking time. They all want something for nothing. In principle that is fine - fucking cornerstone of capitalism. But too many people want something for nothing and are totally unwilling to put in any legwork. So in order to make this project work - they need to put in some serious leg work to get all the things we need to make it work.

Personally, my own experience with music videos is that I need as much experience as I can get so I'm gonna do it. And for the most work, I'm the only one who doesn't get paid. (I'm not complaining - just stating a fact.)

But, it looks like the concept for the video is already decided. A generic performance video- with a mild twist. The problems here is that the Mickey Mouse Club simply cannot complete with MTV so any attempt is guaranteed to fail. But more often than not, that is what people see, and that is what they want.

The budget will *BARELY* stretch to cover anything. It will make the short film I shot in December look like a fucking EPIC. So any production values and dancers/models and whatnot will have to be organised by them and not us.

So with regards to creative control --- effectively, on this project I will have very little... because so much of it is out of my hands.

So, what is the fucking point?

What can I accomplish with this project?

I have a meeting with the woman next week, and I am gonna have to really come up with something - some kind of hook or something to make this project distinguishable from the next generic shit on TV.

But then again, maybe I shouldn't - maybe they should just get what they pay for. If we bust our asses on this then we will set the marker at what can be accomplished for so little and they will expect the same next time.

But then again - if something is worth doing it is worth doing well.

So I figure this:

I'm going to put as much effort as I can into this - BUT - I must be realistic about what can be accomplished for so little. I will give it 100%, but no more. If it gets silly or stupid or disorganised I will just wipe my hands of it.

I must not get excited or needlessly carried away with it. It is only a job. And one that doesn't even pay.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

It's not just me who agrees

Wednesday, February 22, 2006


Following a request from a reader - here is a photo of me and my missus at the Funky4Love Winter Party. The theme was sunglasses and scarfs. I am obviously the one in my cravat and velvet blazer and she in her corset and sunglasses.

My apologies for the low quality of:

a) My haircut - I have since cut it and coloured it blond.
b) the photos - they were taken with my rubbishy camera phone. and the other downloaded from the net.

The girl is my lovely princess. She is 21 (nearly 22) and we have been going out for nearly a year.

I love her.

And today I made her sushi.



Daniel Craig - James Bond

I don't know what all the fucking fuss is all about. I've seen him in Layer Cake and in Munich and Daniel Craig is an amazing actor. There are a lot of idiots moaning about how shit they think he will be.

Personally, I would fucking love to cast him in a film - and if I had power to cast him in my next film I would.

So if you are reading this Mr Craig's agent - I have a sci-fi script which is quite good.



Monday, February 20, 2006

Local People

I had a chat with the local Muslim Immam this evening. I met him briefly a couple of weeks ago when I was helping out the political guy in his election whatnot so he recognised me today.

It was really cool to chat with this guy, he was very down to earth and he had an excellent handshake (always a sign on good character). All in all it was very good to talk to him and I found him to be very articulate and we were on the same wavelengths in many ways. I have a lot of sympathy to their current plight because the actions of the few have been prejudicially represented in the media. This has left the vast majority of people with a very wrong opinion of Muslims.


We concluded that Education is the key. Both academic and personal. The more people know about things, each other, culture, science, the arts, religion, geography, then the more understanding and tolerant we become. Equally, educations causes people to aspire to higher standards, to better themselves etc.

But anyway. Who cares what I have to say?


Sunday, February 19, 2006

The Other Side

Suddenly I understand something...

I once watched an episode of Nip/Tuck where a transgender patient was having surgery to go from Man to woman. When she was almost a 'woman' she was talking to a female nurse about something relevant to woman.... concious or not the acceptance by the nurse where she suddenly started to regard the patient as female and relate to her as such was probably more empowering for the patient that the actually surgery.


A couple of years ago I bleached my hair blonde and kept it that way for 6 months or so. Last year I tried to do it again but made my hair go green... so I had to dye it back.

Last week I have just had the first lot of highlights put into my hair to make me have blonde(ish) hair. When I was in the hair salon the blondest of blonde stylists was talking to me and offered advice how to maintain the colour of my hair.

Okay, all she was doing was talking to me about hair - but suddenly I was aware that I was back in the gang. I remembered how much I fucking love my blonde highlights. I don't know why - but I was lost without them for the last year.

Now I have them back I never ever want to get rid of them. I am already daydreaming about when I put the next lot of colour in!

Anyway, my advice to you is:

Follow your heart and stay true to yourself.



Thank God for Sisters

This weekend gone I went to visit my sister who lives down in the South of England along the coast... Brighton to those of you that know it.

Truly, I can say that even though we didn't actually DO a lot, I had the absolute BEST time. It was so nice just being around my sister (it's never been mentioned but she is actually my twin sister) so me and her are the same age and obviously have been through lots of stuff together. I played Final Fantasy X (on her PS2 and with her copy of the game as she is a fan too- I brought down my Memory Card) and we watched the first few episodes of Firefly on DVD which is an awesome TV series. I cooked some King Prawns and Chicken for her and we just monged around.

It's wierd that it's only now, I'm 27 that I really appeciate my sister. I suppose I look at the two of us and see that we are grown up (almost) and only now do I see that I'm there for her and she's there for me. But AS adults. This is a lonely horrible world and people come and go, but my twin sister will always be my twin. It is awesome having a lovely sis who is an adult who can take care of me when I need it!

She even bought me sushi! We went down to Moshi Moshi and I had some lovely Salmon, Tuna, Sea Bass and some nasty squid... yuckity yuck.

Peace and Love


ps. God bless sisters.

Friday, February 17, 2006

Some Fun for my Readers

This took me about 8 minutes to figure out. See if you can beat that.

Although it is in Japanese you just need to read these intructions. But apparently this give this to job candidates.

Good luck.

(i have fixed the link now)


1. Everybody has to cross the river using the raft.

2. The raft can only carry 2 people at one time.

3. There are only 3 people who know how to work the raft: the mother,the father and the policeman. Without one of these aboard, the raft will not move.

4. The father cannot stay alone with any of his daughters unless the mother is present.

5. The mother cannot stay alone with any of her sons unless the father is present.

6. The thief cannot stay alone with any member of the family without the presence of the policeman.

7. In order to move a person, you just need to click on them.

8. In order to make the raft move, you just need to click on the red levers.

Enjoy and let me know if you've figured it out!!


Or cut and paste link below:


He's back

I've been staying with my sister down in Brighton.

I've had a haircut.

And I have put back the blonde highlights I was so famous for in 2004.

Woo hoo.

The blonde is back.

(maybe a bit more toned down this time though.)

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

DUCK and Cover

I have just bought a duck, some raw king prawns and the neccessary ingredients to cook for my beautiful 21 year old girlfriend. I love cooking and since I have a glut of free time I will spend as much of it cooking as possible.


Valentine's Day is a waste of time and money. My girlfriend got a card from me. £2.20 is all it cost. Instead of going out and wasting time and effort I'm cooking for her. I like cooking. Any excuse for me to cook really. So I figured I cook something I'd never done before.

But, even though I don't really believe in valentine's day, I still have three ladies I have asked to be my Valentine:

My mum,

My (twin) sister,

My girlfriend.

And if you ask me nicely. YOU can be my valentine too.


Monday, February 13, 2006


Please try and follow because I will say this only once:

I have a short film I need to secure licensing for some music I wish to use.

After a comment on a fellow BRITISH Blogger's blog asking a few initial questions about any knowledge he has over licensing a particular song.

And then after a response from that BRITISH blogger pointing me in the right direction.

I email the Music Artist in GERMANY.

After a response from the Music Artist in GERMANY he re-directs me to a record company in FRANCE who own the rights to the song.

After a few e-mails to the record company in FRANCE they agree the licensing.

BUT after few phone calls to my producer in UNITED KINGDOM we agree that it is a little complicated and that we should clarify which rights are held by the FRENCH COMPANY.

So, after I e-mail FRANCE to check with the record label which rights they hold - they say: Check with the Music Artist in GERMANY.

So, after I check with the artist in GERMANY he says NO! The Publishing rights are with ANOTHER publishing company in GERMANY.

So, now I e-mail the publisher in GERMANY referencing the initial permission from record company in FRANCE and artist GERMANY.

And then I wait.

So now, they e-mail me back apologising for the delay saying that they had to check with another company in another place who all the way up the scale are owned by AMERICA.

And they say:



Rather good. I can use the song, free of charge, on the short film.


I need to clarify the rights with the right people and do the right paperwork to concrete the proposal.



Sitting at my desk in my bedroom using only my mobile telephone and laptop I can control the world.

Thursday, February 09, 2006


As my more astute reader will know I am presently unemployed and I have been since Christmas.

This is not a good situation to be in, but it is the situation I AM in. I don't want a job... well that is not true, of course I WANT a job, but just for a while I need to REALLY concentrate on bringing together the pieces so that I can taut myself as a commercials/music video director. What I DON'T want is ANY job. Because that is a tremendous drain on my resources and will hold me back in my ambition.

But, soon enough I will need money.


I need to get success.

And fucking soon.

But it is not easy.

So I choose to live a more simple life, not maybe as hard as it sounds, but sacrifices need to be made. Any of you know any well paid jobs in London that only require 1 or 2 days a week then let me know. (Flats that need sitting or dogs that need walking)

Peace and Love my children


Wednesday, February 08, 2006


On Monday evening I met HEROINEGIRL in London and I got to take her out for dinner!!

Woo hoo!

Truly I can say it was an amazing experience.

She is totally insane - and at the same time a total inspiration -

Picture the scene:

The Lord of Doom and Heroinegirl walking around the seedy streets of soho on Monday night.



Saturday, February 04, 2006


Were you are Pacha, London last night?

Did you dance to funky house music all night?

Were you wearing your Gucci sunglasses, indoors in the club all night?

Were you wearing your velvet blazer that your girl bought you for Christmas?

Were you wearing your new silk cravat (which looked GOOD)?

Were you with your hot 21 year old girlfriend?

Did you lift her up so she could reach the green laser light as it pierced the smoke?

Was she wearing a beautiful pink corset?

Suspenders belt?



Did you feel the love?

Did you feel the beat?

Did you get down and funky?

And when it started to snow inside the club... Did it fall down on you?

If the answer is yes to all of the above: then congratulations - you are the Lord of Doom and you had the time of your life.

Peace and Love


Friday, February 03, 2006

A Lesser Victory

Today I picked up my new business contact cards - which I designed and photoshopped myself. I wish I could scan them and post them here but that would reveal too much I'm afraid - instead I will describe what it looks like.

(I hope RUKSAK would approve of my language - but perhaps not, since language is not my forte.)

"Diligent lines of architectural vanity boldly strike out of the virgin snow. Tiny communist schoolchildren stand up with blackened-steel pickaxes for the class photograph. Their lines of conformity obvious - the tallest stand at the top, towering over the rest.

All the while alongside them, wispy smoke envelopes, rises and intoxicates.

Such beauty.

Such poison."


Thursday, February 02, 2006

Evidence if evidence was needed.

At last it is official - I have the button to prove that I AM shitty blog of the month!

woo hoo!