Perception Versus Reality

I am certain that the above has been the title of one my previous blog posts from times gone by. It is a very interesting concept - what defines our reality ? -our own perception - or how others perceive us - or some bastardised combination of the two? Or perhaps none of the above.

Is how I portray myself on this blog close to the valid reality I exist within? Well, I choose to share what I choose to share - and any determining here will be subjective... because there is neither angel nor devil upon my shoulder.

Anyway, that is a digression.

For the last few days I have been sending out my directing reel. Mostly so far I have been sending to people I know, and waiting for feedback and advice before moving on.

Soon, I will start sending it out further and wider - but according to some advice I received today it might be more worth my time to choose a small number of ad agencies - maybe FIVE - that would be a good number - And harrass the living shit out of them.

Make them know my name.

Until they relent.

And give in and give me a job. I know I can do what I can do - and I finally have the evidence to proove it.

But it is hard - I am scared to push myself - perhaps it is rejection I am afraid of, perhaps the sum of all my work and the culmination of blood sweat and tears is too precious to me to casually and recklessly throw out in every direction.

I am passionate about what I do, and I love doing it more than anything - but I feel like an outsider - perhaps inside I feel like I don't deserve success - I'm in a comfort zone at the moment and I need to step out of it.

These things do develop naturally, I am 1000 times more ready to do this now than I was 5 years ago - I cannot be sure if that was an inevitable and natural progesssion, or because I pushed myself to succeed at the things I pushed myself at which in turn created habits which because natural.

Either way, I need to step up my game. And it will be tough. But it is what I need to do. Step out of the comfort zone and up the tempo.

All fun ad laughter

But I wouldn't want it any other mother fucking way

d.
xxx


ps.

Today I had coffee and a chat with a remarkable young woman - I say remarkable because she shared with me advice and ideas that, although I was already familiar with them - it had taken me YEARS to figure all that stuff out - and she was only 22! If I knew that stuff when I was 22 then I'd probably have taken over the world by now. But she was a charming and lovely woman, so I wish her very good fortune and hope we meet again. Perhaps had I known I would have been with her for so long, I would have suggested we get sushi - as she is a serious fan.