Thursday, January 12, 2006


This might be the last ever post from the Lord of Doom.

After 9 days of obsessing, researching, umming and arring... I did what I wanted to do.

Like most things, the desire was there and impulsively I just decided to do it today. For no real reason and with no planning. I was in a script meeting with my co-writer on a feature we have planned. I explained to him that I was daydreaming about getting some sushi grade fish but that I would not have enough time to do so as the fishmonger closed at 5:00pm. He suggested that I went and that he'd come along with me. So the soho meeting turned into a roving meeting and I took him to the fishmongers. I purchased the fish and then we carried on the meeting in the pub next door. Except now I had a bag of raw fish.

Contrary to what I'd heard before - this fish was not previously frozen at minus fifteen, in fact it was not frozen at all- and the staff were insisting that it did not need to be. After much deliberations, the staff in the fishmongers gave me their absolute assurances that I would not die. They promised me that I would return to the shop to buy from there again.

So I had to take the man's word for it, and I bought the fish - Yellowtail Tuna and Salmon.

After then meeting I went to see my girlfriend and after a couple of hours of preparation I served us sushi. Quite a balanced meal that consisted of:

1. Salmon Sashmi (Raw Salmon)

2. Yellowtail Tuna Sashmi (Raw Tuna)

3. Salmon Sushi (Raw fish on rice)

4. Tuna Sushi (Raw fish on rice)

5. Vegetable California roll (Crab, Avocado, Cucumber in seaweed with rice and sesame seeds)

6. Crab maki roll (Crab wrapped up in a rice and seaweed roll)

7 Avocado maki roll (avocado wrapped up in a rice and seaweel roll)

Garnished with pickled ginger and wasabi paste.

As beautiful as it looked I stared at the veritable feast before my eyes and had to ask myself,

"What the fuck are you doing? You are about to eat raw fish? You saw it in the fishmonger, you brought it home, there is no doubt that it is raw - you most certainly did not cook it. There is no secret trick to sushi - that somehow it is magically cooked and disinfected by fairies. All your research about how the fish needs to be frozen has been contradicted by some bloke in a shop with a cockney accent. Who is he, he could be anybody. How can you trust this man? This is not a restaurant - this sushi was not made by an expert sushi chef who will commit hari-kiri if he poisons anybody... it was made by you. What the FUCK do you know about raw fish? You are an adult... ACT responsibly and ask...

Are you about to wrecklessly poison yourself AND your beautiful girlfriend?

Are you going to carelessly infest yourself with tiny parasites that will live in your intestines for years, maybe forever?

Are those parasites going to grow and grow and grow until they take over your intestinal tract?

Are you negligently going to KILL your girlfriend?

Are you going to willingly KILL YOURSELF?

Who fucking knows.

But I ate it. And she did too.

On the way out we kissed and I said to her,

"Either way, I'll see you tomorrow - If it's in this world or the next."

Love and kisses.


(Please forgive the grainy and dark images - these were taken on the fly with my girlfriend's camera phone - these are specially for Mr. Ruksak. Next time I make it I will take proper photos... if there is a next time)


Blogger jcklsgk said...

Fucking Cool!

1/12/2006 3:08 am  
Anonymous Mango said...

try not to die Doom.

I'd miss you.

Without you, I'd have to stalk some other crazy European and most of them scare me.

You know, I was kind of hoping to see some White Boy Sushi on that plate.

1/12/2006 5:45 am  
Blogger RuKsaK said...

There better be a next time - I'm never coming to your world famous sushi eatery if not.

1/12/2006 8:24 am  
Blogger The Rantallion said...

Mmm.... tasty. I actually plan on having some nice sashimi tomorrow. I am impressed by your mad suchi making skills.

How far in advance did you have the rice done for it?

1/12/2006 7:01 pm  
Blogger LeeLoreya said...

congrats !! even if you die, it'll be on a culinary elegant mark, these look absolutely outstanding for someone who hasn't made them before.........oh and by the way, you're safe...did you see park chan wok's movie old boy? he eats a live octopus on film. and it's not simulation...the little beast wriggles in his well done i say.

1/12/2006 9:28 pm  
Blogger LeeLoreya said...

(tis the main actor that eats the live fish....not park chan wok..heh)

1/12/2006 9:29 pm  
Blogger dotdotdot said...

You dead yet?

1/12/2006 11:45 pm  
Blogger jcklsgk said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1/13/2006 3:52 am  
Blogger jcklsgk said...

Congrats. You are the Featured Shitty Blog of the Week on Shitty Blog Radio.

1/13/2006 3:55 am  

Post a Comment

<< Home