Saturday, November 27, 2004

Total and Utter Asphixiation

Explaining something that it virtually unexplainable. Meeting somebody so astonishingly attractive, and experiencing a spark so intense that it renders you virtually incapacitated.

This incapacitation is compounded further by the paradoxical state of dreaming consciousness. You try to sleep, but you cannot - both halves of your brain fight to be able make sense of the last few hours' events. The combination of dreaming and memory struggling to categorise the information into anything remotely fileable creates a hallunicatory nightmare.

You wake up delirious. Wanting to speak, to tell your friends. Somehow you cannot. Words fail you. Your conscious brain is still hungover from the intoxication. Barely able to believe it yourself, you are in a state of shock almost. It is a truly traumatic experience.

Shellshocked I sat at breakfast. Barely able to articulate anything more than a grunt. My friends were bemused. They barely believed me. I hardly ate.

But it was only the start of my seduction. The fairy tale was to envelop me like nothing else.

I write this retrospectively. It has gone beyond that halfway point. I have been waiting for longer than I will have to wait until I see her again. I am scared and nervous. Excited and exhilerated. Believe me, you'd be a rich man indeed if you could bottle this and sell it.


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