Tuesday, November 30, 2004

I NEED FUCKING HAIRCUT

I had dinner with a good friend from University tonight. We went to a nice place in Chinatown up in central London. The Won-Ton soup was very nice and infinately better than the shit I had for lunch where I also had Won-Ton soup for lunch with my accountant friend.

But at dinner I was extraordinarily overwhelmed by my need to have a haircut BECAUSE I LOOK LIKE A FUCKING TRAMP ON THE STREETS.

On the way home I saw a nice girl and I attempted to smile at her but then I remembered that I look like some wild crazy feral bushman.

My haircut problem is compounded further by the fact that my have black roots about 1.5 cms long. So if I cut it, then I will have black hair at the back and sides and then blonde ends at the top. This I am certain will look fucking stupid so all I can do is cut it and then run home and bleach it ALL blonde.

Hmmm. It troubles me. Because then for about a week I look like an albino. I think I will cut it tomorrow, I have a meeting at 1pm so after that maybe.

Nevertheless, I am looking to shoot this video on the 11th/12th December. This also troubles me because I have a lot of work to do. But I know enough to know that if I do all I have to do then it will get done. End of story.

I suppose that is what it means by "experience".

But the video excites me and scares me in equal measure. But I focus my mind and I remind myself that this is the life I choose. If I am truly the "don" as my ego wants to believe, then this is how I will prove myself:

By doing.

Fuck fear.

Fuck doubt.

One day my corpse will lie rotting in a box somewhere six feet beneath the earth. My skin will forget sunshine, my lungs will forget air and my stomach will forget food.

Free from the constrains of this puny body I shall be exploring the next world. And most of what we concern ourselves with in this world will not matter. But until then I just got to do what I got to do.


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