Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Life Beneath the Lie

Tuesday was more of the usual Tuesday night mayhem. Going out in London is great as long as you keep the scenery moving and are willing to adapt.

But as I witnessed London can be a dark and unforgivingly wicked place. Don't misunderstand me, I am not ignorant to the ways of the world - but every now and then I am reminded of the harsh reality of life - and no matter how many times I see it, I won't and don't ever wish to become desensitised to it.

This is a difficult post to write as I cannot really go into the specifics - and empty generalisations will just bore you- needless to say there are realities that most people I imagine are blind to. If you know what I am talking about then in some ways you have my sympathy, and in some ways you have my admiration.

I will accept that I am fascinated by this other side of life. Sometimes I wish I could become invisible so I can explore so many places in order to see things that I would not be able to see otherwise.

Until I have the ability to become invisible then I will have to be careful not to get too close to the fire, else I will be burnt.

Adrenaline is as frightening as it is stimulating - and this evening I felt the fear twice. My friend told me that I had to switch it and, "turn it around," creating something useable. This evening was a self imposed test - a training exercise almost. I am grateful for the lessons I learned today.

On a positive note, I met a really nice Belarussian girl who worked in a nice Cafe up in town. I learned a few more phrases of Russian from her and with a little help I managed to order most of our meal in Russian. This made me very happy.

She said that I spoke Russian with almost no noticeable accent. This also makes me happy - perhaps I have a genuine talent.


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