Friday, December 17, 2004


In no particular Order
February 2004

We had to pretend that we knew what we were doing. Otherwise I would not be allowed to go climbing until I had done an induction proving that I knew how to tie knots and wear the harness and shit like that.

His words, "When you get to the top, hold on to the rope and lean back. I've got you, I'll lower you down."

So - I'm at the top. It feels good. What next?

Let go of the wall.

My body weight rests mostly on my feet. My balance is with my hands.

Is he fucking nuts?

My grip is tight. My hands are what is keeping me in place. I'm at the top of the wall, whilst I probably won't die if I fall, I will probably break something - maybe my spine or my leg.

Let go of the wall and hold on to the rope.

The rope is tied to a harness which is tightly around my waist.

I can't hold on to the rope - because I'll have to let go of the wall first.

My friend is at the bottom, holding on to the other end of the rope.

If I let go of the wall I will fall.

I battle my instinct. My mind is calmly saying let go. My instinct is struggling to accept this.

You're on a rope - it's fine

I relax.

You're tied up safely.

I take a deep breath.

But you'll fall if you let go.

I look down. He looks so small.

Don't be such a fucking faggot - just let go of the God damn wall before anyone notices you've never done this before.

I shift my body weight. I cannot hold onto the rope without letting go of the wall.

Have faith. This is perfectly safe. Just do it. Let go of the wall.

I let go.


Panic - I start to fall - I grab the rope - no use, the rope is falling with me.


The slack of the rope takes up and I suddenly jolt still.

Fuck me. False alarm. It's okay.

My friend lowers me down. Safely I reach the bottom.

To this story there is a moral.

Sometimes you just have to have faith and let go.


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