Diary of a Bum

Vampires on Crack

2010-02-28T05:32:00.005Z

I am still about -- and I often daydream of having the energy to get this blog up and running -- except I kinda think the whole blog thing is dead now. But still, I'd like a record of this shit to one day show to somebody who might give a shit, so here goes.

Since my brief time in Hollywood I returned to the UK to be jobless and broke as shit (again. yawn.) A couple of days after landing I had this sudden flash of inspiration for a movie in a jeg-lagged period of insomnia. Then I sat on the idea for a couple of days, until another flash of inspiration when I was on a train. So, here I am, about 12 weeks later, finishing off the second draft to my new script.

It's a Vampire Movie with a twist. I won't write much else here. I spent 12 months being close to raising £1,000,000 to making my first movie which never happened.

I still want to make a movie but I won't be making that one, I will be making this one. The best way for me to do this is to fucking get off my ass and do it. So I have written this script with the explicit intention that I will shoot it as my first feature in 2010, no matter what.

Privately I have my hopes set on raising £20,000 - £50,000 and making up for the lack of funds with willpower, charm and good fortune.

In LA LA land I met a lot of people who were all talk. The entire film industry is puffed up with hot air and bullshit. I am English. We don't bullshit. We just get on with it.

But I learned that the film industry doesn't have time for subtlety. You need to get up in peoples faces because the alternative is to be invisible: and that, my friends, helps nobody.

But equally, you can make all the noise you want but if you've nothing to back it up with: then you're a bullshit artist and a waste of space.

So I need to get in people's face -- AND make a kick-ass vampire movie on steroids, because I can't bullshit - it's not in my DNA.

But that's cool. The final thing I learned in Hollywood is that there is fuck all talent there.

So it's mine for the taking.

Awesome.

Los Angeles

2009-12-07T22:58:00.002Z

Right. I went to LA.

It was insane.

For me, Hollywood is a real place now. A far cry from the shithole part of London that I grew up in. And not too dissimilar to that place on TV we're all shown but never visit.

What you don't see is how fucking pigshit and nasty everybody is to everybody else. It's a jungle out there. I'm gonna elaborate on this more soon.

Los Angeles: Part Two

2009-09-18T11:30:00.002Z

The last trip to Los Angeles didn't happen --- but... I got an email two days ago and it looks like in four weeks I'm gonna go for real!

woot.

ps.

The financing to my movie collapsed. Le sigh, those fucking Arabs let me down... in the words of Bob Evans, "an Arab is an Arab is Arab is an Arab."

Los Angeles

2009-05-20T21:45:00.002Z

In the early hours of this morning, I received a simple email, my friend is going to USA for a funeral. He wants me to come hang with him in LA for a week. I've never been. He is a director in the middle of financing a $25m movie.

I am a director two weeks from finding out if my movie gets financed.

Perhaps I should go along and see what happens. In London, I've been storyboarding my movie, or at least TRYING to storyboard my movie. I've been visiting a lot of VFX places in soho, studios and sitting in on meeting with this big director guy. At the very least, I'm learning a bunch of stuff with him.

But most of all, I am just stuck here waiting for news which will or won't change my life.

A trip to LA will use up the last of my resources and on the surface I can't see the point. I was going to go anyway in two weeks if I failed in my bid to finance my picture.

Well, I said a lot of prayers the other night -- within 24 hours, this invite comes along. I discern any specific point of going, I'm financing my movie from the Middle East... I don't need LA right now. At least I don't think I do.

I suppose that's the point of faith. We pray for an answer from God and when we get one we're too stubborn to see it. Is this invite to LA an answer? Or perhaps a random coincidence. am I projecting, and seeing what i want to see?

Another way of looking it is that progress is about stepping outside of the comfort zone... This trip to LA will push me. Maybe I should go anyway...

May 2009

2009-05-02T00:40:00.002Z

Okey dokey, it's been a little while -- the last news was that I had a soft yes for the financing to my movie and would find out in roughly 12 weeks time whether or not it would actually happen.

That was 10 weeks ago.

It's now May, and in an oddly poignant twist, its coming up to the 10 year anniversary of me finishing Film School .

So, this month I will find out if it all works. There isn't much else to say on the matter. Sometimes I am confident, sometimes I am anxious.

I pray, I try and focus my energy on understanding my purpose and God's plan for me.

If I get the money, I'll probably weep. If I don't, I'll also probably weep.

Non-Circumvention Agreement

2009-03-04T02:31:00.002Z

The 'deal' is 11 weeks away. A Hollywood friend of mine suggests I get my people to sign a Non-Circumvention Agreement.

I'd never even heard of one of these, but apparently in Hollywood, they eat their young -- and nobody with any sense does business without one of these.

What i find intimidating is that I am suddenly swimming with sharks -- I might have known one of these guys for 10 years, but this is business now and I where I used to bumble around like an idiot, I can't charm or joke my way out of a legal minefield.

Suddenly, I am a little boy again, hoping that the world is full of good people who want nothing but the best for me -- how can I ask this man to sign a document that essentially declares that I do not trust him?

Then again: this is business.

How can I allow the slightest possibility that somebody can totally fuck me. Based on what? Trust? Friendship? Respect?

I don't want to get them to sign the paper. Because I want to be able to trust him. Then again, if I get him to sign the paper -- then I suppose that's the only guarantee that I can trust him.

Non-Commital

2009-02-16T03:22:00.002Z

I feel like I am writing a soap opera -- this is how whole-heartedly ludicrous everything seems to be right now.

About 12 hours ago, I heard from my contact overseas.

The proposal to fund my movie has been provisionally accepted pending certain conditions.

I'll find out in May whether these conditions are met.

These is another offer on the table for 18 months time. This other offer is 10 times bigger than the first.

I really wish I could elaborate here, this story is so absurd you couldn't begin to imagine it. But right now, I simply can't.

But, after three months, the answer I get is:

Yes, maybe.

In May, I'll find out if I raise 100% of the finance to my movie.

Waiting

2009-02-13T17:40:00.004Z

Wow. The news about funding that I was supposed to hear on Monday has been delayed. Delayed until today. I was supposed to hear 12 hours ago.

Still no news.

A couple of days, I sat down and said my prayers -- I say them every day, but this time I said them with even more gusto and sincerity. It's not the obvious thing to expect from young people in the media/film industry to do. But I firmly believe in God and believe that I've been created for a purpose -- I can't be sure, but I feel this is my calling on earth.

The trick is to detach away myself from that *I* want, and open my heart to what God wants. Which may or may not be the same.

I don't tell most people about my prayers and faith and how I feel it is PARAMOUNT in my journey towards successfully achieving this as it's really not something that most people can relate to.

Nonetheless, in the last recent months, my internal changes have been enormous. And I am trying to detach myself from my ego and vanity, and focus on the simple reality that I want to make movies because it's been a childhood passion of mine that I've carried for 17 years, though making short movies, to film school, to striving to be a commercials and music videos director.

I even go as far as to say that I never sat down and chose to want to make movies. And I never chose to be any good at it. All the skills I feel I have that help me do this, I was born with -- I never picked them from a list.

But here I am, with this burden of desire and ambition weighing down on me, waiting for news that will let me know that the most significant step I will ever take in this journey is about to be taken.

Or not.

Whatever happens, one day I will be dead and none of this 'career' nonsense will matter.

Everything

2009-02-10T16:53:00.002Z

Today is the day that I should find out whether the investment proposal to raise the finance to my movie was accepted by the investor.

So I am waiting.

To be honest, I should have heard something by now, and I am in a nervous state of heightened anxiety.

Like an idiot I started smoking again last weekend. There is no way I'll be able to give up today.

HOW DID I GET HERE? - PART THREE: HOW NOT TO RAISE FINANCE

2009-02-08T16:47:00.004Z

(August 2008)

So, with a script that seems to be half-way decent. I contacted every producer, production company, affiliate, or person of note that I could within my small network of contacts.

The list came to about 15 people -- the way I saw it is that cold-calling- and sending unsolicited is not the way forwards. Better for me to concentrate of where there is a connection of sorts.

So I sent it out. Sometimes via email, sometimes I posted a hardcopy.

It's really funny, until people have seen the script, they are at least willing to respond to your emails or talk to you. The same thing happened with my directing reel when I sent it to all the ad-agencies in London. I suppose, that until they've seen what you have to send them, they work on the assumption that you might be somebody. When they do have evidence that you're a nobody, everything changes.

After several weeks, and follow up emails, of all the people I sent it out to, only one got back to me. And in that case, I used to WORK for that company. The conclusions, nobody was interested, nobody cared enough to even just tell me to politely fuck off.

Being the eternal pragmatist, this didn't surprise me. But now I realised that I would have to find a way to raise the money myself.

Essentially there are two real options available to the project.

a) £50,000 - £100,000

b) £1,000,000+

For a small scale psychological horror both of these are viable, but obviously have major ramifications on the logistics of the shoot and how we do it.

All this time I've had another 'producer' attached - but it took him about 5 months to read the script after I sent it to him. And even when he finally did read it, he cussed it, considering it deeply flawed etc etc.

The real point for me to take away from this was that he really wasn't committed to the project any more. Which was a shame, but the way it goes. I sent him an email saying that it probably wasn't in out best interests to work on this project together.

He agreed.

And suddenly all on my own. Not that I'd been operating in tandem with him anyway, I'd been acting alone, but it was always a situation where I'd at least had somebody to fall back on. (or I thought I did)

At this lower echelon of the film industry, where it is hard to distinguish between the wannabees and the gonnabees I've met a lot of different people. Each one of them is convinced that they know the way in and are following the correct path.

Many of them have one foot inside the door and are struggling to get in the other. But among them I've met some fucking retards. I wish I could name and shame, but I won't. Who know, maybe they say the same shit about me.

So. I'm now operating alone, in debt up to my eyeballs, I have a decent script, yet nobody in the film industry is willing to back me.

What the fuck do I do next?

HOW DID I GET HERE? - PART TWO: RE-WRITING

2009-01-30T05:10:00.002Z

So there I am with this 95-page-piece-of-shit-script I'd spent 3 months writing.

I knew it was bad, and I knew it was my fault: like I said earlier, it's my creative writing inexperience, much like the drawings you from a five-year-old. You can see the basic elements in place, but they really don't come together in any meaningful form.

At that age, the kid has this image in it's mind and it dumps it onto paper, but it's an entirely one way process, there is no evaluation of the drawing. In time, the kid learns to LOOK and SEE on that piece of paper and reassess this image to see if it matches the mental image.

Considering some of the diabolical things I've seen painted, written, or tasted from adults(that's right, this theory applies also to cooking) most people then DO NOT learn how to then continually keep critically evaluating their creation and improving it until it is finished.

And a 90 page script is a very hard thing to understand and have a handle on, since it's all about structure, structure, structure - which take a long time to be able to picture in ones mind.

But to be honest, the shame of holding this fucking turd of a script in my hand was enough of a kick up the ass for me to want to LEARN how to critically evaluate my own writing.

All I wanted to do was DIRECT A MOVIE, not sit in my bedroom and learn to write the fucking thing -- but I had little choice. A book I have on screenwriting says that writing a movie is actually all about re-writing.

Roughly around this time I got an email from a good friend (himself a writer/director) his advice was very important and I paid careful attention to it:

Don't shoot until you have a really good script. Young directors are just burning with the desire to shoot their first feature, so much so that they think the script doesn't matter. They focus on the deal or the production team and not enough on the fact that without a GREAT script, your film will suck, never get released, lose your investors' money and consign your career to the scrap heap. Even with a great script you can end up with a bad film, it happens all the time, even to great directors -- but a good film coming from a so-so script? that has never happened.

Effectively I deleted 90% of the script and started again, but concentrating this time on elaborating and exploring those KEY ELEMENTS in my head which I knew worked. I studied structure and broke down each element into it's basic components and tried to fit them together as best as I could.

That 'first' piece-of shit-draft took me 3 months.

This second draft took me another 10 months of sitting and hacking away at keys.

But this time, the consensus was that it was a massive improvement on the first. Amusingly enough, it has later been revealed to me that most writers after having their first drafts torn apart, go away, re-jig it and effectively re-write it the same way, with the same problems. Luckily for me, the shame of the first draft made sure I wouldn't fuck it up again.

But the trouble was not over for me. After this I did another major overhaul, which incidentally was THEN TORN TO SHREDS for managing to lose the heart and soul of the story. So I rejected the overhaul, returned to draft 2 and refined it until I had what is presently considered to be a good script.

It's continued to evolve, but this whole process has taken me about 18 months. And, even if I *DO* get the funding to this movie, as I hope to, there will be more writing ahead.

Le sigh.

Coming soon:

How not to raise the finance.

HOW DID I GET HERE? - PART ONE: THE SCRIPT

2009-01-28T18:24:00.003Z

So. Here I am, on the threshold of financing my first feature film, experiencing a blend of optimism, pessimism, fatalism, hope, anxiety which all balance themselves out to become a state of indifference. The result: I have at last attained that much coveted 1,000-yard-stare.

But how did I get here?

How indeed.

Well in order to direct a great feature film, one needs a great script. The problem with great scripts is that they don't grow on trees. And if anybody I know did have one, they'd be a fool to give it up to some numpty-first-time film maker for free. They should sell it for megabucks or make it themselves. Or whatever they need.

So, without the funds required to purchase a script, and lacking super-talented friends willing to write some shit for free I had only one course of action.

In order to find a great script, I'd have to write it myself.

Previously, I have co-written a science-fiction film with a very talented guy and I'd learned a lot about the process. So I started to solo-write a project - a contemporary crime-thriller-prison- revenge-story. After about 3 months, what started off as a very neat and nice idea became bogged down it convoluted, hackneyed, cliched bullshit. I was frustrated that what started as a great idea became a fucking mess.

So, after some meetings with some people I made the hard choice to start again, this time taking on-board a piece of useful advice: 'stick to what you know'

I have been a true fan of horror movies since I was a kid -- and it's the one genre of movie, I know the most about -- so instead of writing a thriller, I decided to write a horror. I excavated a short script that I'd written seven years ago and found it to have a SOLID core with some great ideas. So I sat around, expanding, developed, and began to write the script.

June 2007

After 3 months of writing, I'd hammered out a rough draft. I remember sitting on Brighton Beach on my 29th birthday with this cute 19 year old girl and talking about how awesome my script was. And how the next step was to go find a way to film it.

Shortly after this, I had a few development meetings and the feedback was the same.

The script was complete and utter shit - It was a horrible, nasty, sinking feeling. Made worse by the fact that I was the one responsible for this atrocious mess. It was a horrible feeling.

I'd say it was devastating. aside from one reality, the script WAS shit. and it was my fault. During these meetings I defended the story arguing about certain core-elements and I could see that the points I were making were getting though and making sense --- BUT these story elements I was arguing about actually didn't exist in the script, at least not in the way I thought they did.

The truth was that I had a great story, but it was NOT on paper. My inexperience as a writer meant that what I had written was no reflection of what I wanted to write. Somehow I assumed that everything I wanted to be in there would get in there whether I wrote it or not.

It sounds fantastically stupid to do this, and worse still, I had done an identical thing at film school ten years ago with my first short film. I had this ludicrous belief that if I put a hot girl, a nice car, some drugs, some gangsters and a love story and some other stupid bits together then somehow is would become a SUPER SWEET SHORT FILM.

How fucking wrong was I.

So there I was with a horror-script with some violence, some sex, some tits, some blood, some scary bits, a bit that will make people jump, a bit that will make people tense, a bit that will make people think: wow, this is such a cool film --- and yet, somehow despite all these parts, it was a terrible, misguided croque of steaming turd.

That awful feeling of despair, that sinking feeling became my friend. It only lasted 12 hours, because, I knew immediately that it would be solved only one way.

RE-WRITING!

Precipice

2009-01-25T17:47:00.003Z

A lot's changed and a lot hasn't since I used to update this site regularly.

For sure, most of my old readers are gone. This blog is private and my anonymity is still important to me. Nobody knows who I am.

So, for who do I write this?

Perhaps I'll share this with my wife and children one day, perhaps it will become public and people will know who I am... but right now, I'll simply write.

I am at the absolute threshold of accomplishing something I've dreamed of for my whole life. I have wanted to direct feature films since I was 13 years old.

And I have spent the last TWO YEARS writing a 94 page psychological horror script and I have two respected producers on board, an investor and a 20 page proposal all strung together.

All I need is the guy to say yes, and then it begins.

Sometimes I wonder if I am deluding myself that a simply kid from South London can pull off something as fantastic as this, and at other times it just seems so perfectly normal for me to expect myself to accomplish this.

There are no fixed ways to finance and make a movie, most people will tell you that you should start small and make things micro-budget ($100,000) but I am being a little more ambitions and aiming for $2,000,000.

But I really have little desire to make a micro-budget movie, when $2,000,000 is already such a tiny amount.

I've learned a lot of mental 'tricks' along the way - mostly about how to conduct oneself and how to overcome fear.

Of course, whether any of these strategies and choices work out for me, remains to be seen.

I'll keep you posted.

I'm Back, I'm bad, not blonde, which is sad.

2009-01-22T22:59:00.002Z

Hello.

I doubt any of my old readers will find this... It's been about 2 years since my last proper post on here.

Sorry.

The need for me to write this shit down, seemed to disappear as suddenly as it had come to me to write it down in the first place.

I am now 30, single, and I am in the middle of trying to raise the money to my first feature film. A Psychological Horror movie.

The statistically probability of me achieving this is very low.

But I say: fuck statistics.

MORE PAIN IN THE ASS SHIT

2007-10-24T12:25:00.001Z

Okay.

So I finished the 2nd draft to my script.

It's not very good: a nice idea buried in a bad script. (for those who don't know, screenwriting is 99% structure and 1% actual ideas)

I am good at ideas and bad at the other 99%.

Anyway.

I have a meeting with Mr. Producer and we need to find a 2nd writer to help do a 3rd draft.

My question to him was:

"Who, and what with?"

So I am going to get a job: any job --- a temp job and work for a month to earn money and give it to the writer. In 5 weeks time I will have a better draft to my script and no money. but it's better than me continuing to write it alone and in 5 weeks time having no money and a shit script.

Real Decision

2007-09-10T13:53:00.000Z

This script of mine is really gaining a life of it's own - I would hazard a guess that it will be cult classic material - hopefully earning me a small residual every year forever!

The good news is that I had a chat with my producer the other day and I saw everything that I DO HAVE waiting for me, in terms of key personne, equipment, talent etc... it's a lot - I will easily be the most professionally unprofessional there.

But for me to get there, first there is somebody I have to fight----- myself.

I stared at my computer for 3 days doing ANYTHING else but writing. Its frustrating - to be so far and yet to be so close.

Maybe cans of Red-Bull will help....

CANNES CONNECTION

2007-08-31T20:03:00.000Z

I got a call today from an Indian film director I met out in Cannes back in May - he's made a BIG foreign film.... and is looking for a distributor.

I also met in Cannes, a guy who has his own DVD Distribution company in the UK - and basically, today, with a couple of phone calls, I put the two of them together.

I seriously hope the two of them can work something out - It's vanity, but it means it was me who put them together. And I love that.

Either way, there is a London Premiere of the film in October at a *very* amazing venue which I can't disclose.

And I hope, I will be introduced to some interesting people at the screening.

I, back.

2007-08-28T02:51:00.000Z

I am now 29. It was my birthday - and I spent it with a girl 10 years younger than me... it really take the edge off getting older.

Anyway. I am not sure if *anybody* even comes to this blog anymore. The whole blog thing came and went... and only the true hard-core self-obsessed types continue.

I am virtually penniless - but I have made really solid progress with this Script of mine.

It is my mission to shoot it as my first-feature film in the next 12 months. I'll have a mission raising money.

In other news: I had a date with an impossibly fit 20 year old American girl a couple of week sago. She was only in London for a week.

When I go to L.A, I'll look her up. She lives an hour away from there. Perhaps I'll see her again.

I'd like to.

Other than that.

Keep on rocking

xoxox

Cannes - Day 1.

2007-06-03T00:20:00.000Z

14:00

I leave the plane and whilst waiting for baggage reclaim I find my first victim - a blonde woman with a very tall blonde friend (who was in airport security just ahead of me) Whilst I'm waiting for my bag I hear her talking, an American accent means she speaks English, or at least some approximation of it.

"Hey, you here for the film festival?"
"Yeah" she replies.
"Cool, well, you look like you're going to some cool VIP parties, if I see you on the streets I'm gonna grab you and follow you in."
"Yeah" she laughs.

14:05

I exit the security, a barrage of press awaits - one cameraman spots me, I can see his brain ticking, am I celeb worth filming? Gucci Shades, blonde hair...
He pauses, raises his camera, and then, must have spotted by beat up Nike Air Max. He lowers his camera and ignores me.

14:10

I am smoking my first cigarettes, I have started to chatting to some English dude, a director, he's been here before and speaks French - fabulous - he gets me tickets for the bus to Cannes and does all my translating and everything.

Cool.

Whilst waiting this rabble of cameras and people starts heading towards me being lured by Billy Zane and a fabulous looking Kelly Brook stroll out of the airport they. They walk past me, one of the papperazzi walks backwards and trips on my bag. I get an urge to cuss him, but he's way too focuses on Kelly Brook's small head. She's tiny - and flawless.

14:30

On the bus to Cannes I talk to that English director, he's been here five times, he gives me some pointers. I talk about my projects, he talks about his. We exchange cards, and organise a little meet-up. He then tells me that Frank Miller and Victoria Silvestri (or whatever her name) was on the same British Airways flight as us.

"You mean that really tall, skinny blonde?"
"Yeah. With the jeans"
"And the big sunglasses?"
"Yeah."

Realisation hits me.

"You mean the girl I was standing next to, who's friend I said I would follow into a club?"
"Yeah."
"Oh shit."
"She's picked up a stalker."

le sigh.

15:30 I get to the apartment. I unpack my stuff, change my clothes and leave - heading to the festival itself.

16:30 - THE 60th CANNES FILM DU CANNES - ADAPT OR DIE.

What else can I say? This place is totally insane - and I mean totally bloody insane, on a level you could never imagine.

I stroll around the 'market' and see hundreds of films being marketted, this is the nuts and bolts of the festival - the part which nobody really hears about. My mission here is simple: to learn about sales/distribution for the two feature films I have in the pipeline.

Like that fear I used to have of talking to a beautiful women I walk around unwilling to approach anybody - too scared to walk up to the men and women in suits all shouting into mobile phones or keying into blackberries - I don't really know how to start this conversation I need to be having. Basically, all the important people have all their meetings pre-arranged and to find time with them is very difficult.

At the stand for company "x" a blonde american woman catches my eye.
"Hey, you seem like friendly face, can I pick your brains for two minutes?"
I explain my situation, that I'm new there and about my projects and I want to learn. She tells me that she wants to help, but not just give me made up answers - so she walks into the office and brings out her colleague. A very stunning looking Arabic looking lady appears, also a New-Yorker. We break the ice about talking about how honest and straight to the point New Yorkers are compared to people from LA.

As a British first-time writer director I am a waste of time when IN Britain. The film industry just does not exist for people like me - I'm not gonna bother explain why. but just trust me, it doesn't. Out here she listens to what I have to say, she is friendly, she says she LIKES my attitude, and that even though I am newbie, she says her job is to find new directors and forge new relationships.
(there is another reason for this but I won't bother explain it here) Those New Yorkers LOVE the whole British thing. I turn on the charm just a little. We talk about what I'd need to get pre-sales. She gives me her card, I pledge to email her when I return to London. This is my best hope for the festival. To meet and greet Sales Agents and Film Financiers. To get contact details and to start communications.

After my first contact the next one is easy, another woman catches my eye,
"Hello."
"Hey, how you doing, where you from?" I ask.
"Canada"
"Oh, you know what I mean, where your parents from?"
"My mum is from Iran, my dad from...."
I grin to myself. I've got her, "(Kho-bee" I greet her in Farsi."
I tell her that persian woman are trouble, and then I ask to sit down at her table.
I have made a friend here, she says I should come back and say hello any time I want.

Cool.

It's late and market is closing for the day so I leave. Tomorrow I won't be arrive at 5 in the afternoon. I'll get there at 11am and have a full day of this. I'm glad I made this effort on the first day.

POSTAL (2007)

2007-05-22T23:39:00.000Z

I heard from a friend that there was a screening of this movie in Cannes that pissed off a lot of people who went and saw it. My friend then told me what happened in the movie, and I was shocked - South Park would not have comedy as offensive as this.

I simply HAD to watch this film: it might have been my only chance to see what is going to be the most controversial movie of the year (if it finds a distributor.)

And I mean that. This is the most controversial film you're ever going to hear about this year, or next year - or for the next five years I reckon.

After a mad rush to get there on time the second screening was jam packed, word of mouth had already created a stir.

I'm not going to say anything about what happens in the film. But put it this way: I rarely walk out of a movie with a genuine charge of emotion. This movie blew me away, it stepped over lines I didn't even think possible - yet equally it is the most politically even and fair movie I've ever seen.

It's going to upset a lot of people, but those smart enough to look past the noise that they are going to hear; and listen to the movie's clear message will walk away invigorated.

I was lucky enough to catch the director Uwe Boll outside and we talked for a few minutes - he gave me his card and said we should stay in touch.

That made me happy.

And for the next 30 minutes I talked non-stop with some other guys about how awesome that film was. And then for the next few days after the screening I think I told EVERYBODY I spoke to in Cannes about it.

It was a real treat for me to catch this movie: the fucking highlight of my festival.

xxx

TUXEDO AND NEW SHOES

2007-05-11T00:54:00.000Z

In preparation for my trip next week to Cannes, I have invested in a single-breasted one-button tuxedo. I also bought a pair of Roland Cartier Black Patent Leather shoes.

For a man with no job - this is a serious spunk of money.

Today, also, I bought my first whole album on iTunes. I purchased the TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE BEGINNING (OST) by Steve Jablonsky. I have to say, that I am a fan of soundtracks - but this one stood out in particular as being perhaps one of the most well realised horror movie soundtracks I have ever heard.

I have no idea what the cost of the scoring, studio time and musicians are - but I would love to approach him about scoring this supernatural thriller I am writing.

Anyway, it is late.

xx

Horror movies are so much about the SOUND TRACK.

16th-22nd May

2007-04-19T19:14:00.000Z

Dear readera -- In four weeks time I am going on a Seven day adventure.

Cos, I my friends am going out to the Cannes film festival. As a writer/director, it is my JOB to go out there. My agenda is simple:

To learn.

I have a short film there screening in the Short Film Corner which will get me the neccessary accreditation. But I am NOT going out there to try and bluff my way into anything.

I am writing a Supernatural Thriller which will not be finished in time - but it will be good for me to go there with no real pressure. I don't want to go there with any illusions that I will be walking away with a $1,000,000 deal -- because I won't.

BUT I want to talk to sales agents, distributors, agents and producers. So that when the time comes I will be ready.

I'm very excited about it all - I have my flights and accreditation sorted - all I need now my Tuxedo and my Accomodation.

This is certainly the most important trip I have ever taken in my life - and I'm excited.

xx

Dreams/Fiction/Reality.

2007-04-12T22:33:00.000Z

Last night I had a dream that I spent the night with a very attractive girl called Kim. She had straight brown hair and was white with good skin.

I remember specifically how we woke up and lay in bed talking.

The problem is, Kim, is the lead female role in this supernatural thriller that I am writing. Which , uncannily enough, has major themes of blending the line between dreams and reality.

I find it difficult to see characters faces, but now as the memory of my dream fades, I remember only the attraction to this character... that I have created.

Is this normal?

I'm sorry

2007-04-10T16:08:00.000Z

Dear readers,

Or indeed, dear reader (singular)

I am sorry that I have not been posting of late.

I have entered my short film into the Cannes Short Film corner and booked my flights out to Cannes.

This means, that provided I can get my accomodation fixed, then I'm off to learn about the way things work in the biggest film market in the world.

It will be mayhem. But of course, this all depends on whether I can find somewhere to stay.

Wish me luck

xx

Keep my own counsel...

2007-03-23T14:17:00.000Z

This girl.

She is rather beautiful. (used to do some modelling)

She is rather clever (studying medicine)

She is rather spiritual (same religion as me)

She is rather nice (I like her)

Problem.

She is 18 almost 19.

Is that too young? Am I too much of a wicked influence on her? I don't know, but from the FIRST time I stared into her green eyes, I felt a hot burning sensation in my heart.

xxx

ps.

There was *another* 6" blonde who was kicking about, but she is a waste of time.

This reminds me of Monty Python

2007-03-23T00:09:00.000Z

http://www.glumbert.com/media/irack

Please check it out.

It's rather good.

I am SOOOO gonna burn in hell.

2007-03-21T02:07:00.000Z

Today was a big event near me and I cooked a curry, which was part of a pot luck dinner and was eaten by 50 or so people.

Quite amazing as never have so many people eaten my cooking before.

Anyway, I saw my ex-girlfriend there and of course, we were friendly and civil - but she asked me how, "****** gurl, was?"

Because on her birthday last week, I sent her a text message meant for somebody else:
"****** gurl, doesn't it break your heart to think of the fun we might be having right now?xxx"

Anyway, she said it really upset her and she was out to dinner with her NEW BOYFRIEND and my accidental text message made her have to go to the toilet to regain composure.

But, considering,

1. It was SHE who ended it with me.

2. She is the one with the new boyfriend.

What the hell is she getting upset with me for?

All I can see is that she knows she has fucked it up with me and made an irreversible mistake.
When I saw her last, she asked if there was any chance for us to ever get back to together.

My response?

"None. Not one bit"

Believe it or not - but I feel relieved, I feel joyous - I am over the moon in fact. Today I flirted mercilessly with an 18 year old. She's hot (used to do some modelling), she's intelligent (studying medicine) she's spiritual (same religion as me) and she has nice legs.

I'm better off without my ex. But although it was her who broke it off... now she is caught feeling the sting.

xx

Ministry of sound: Mash up Mix 2007

2007-03-18T13:45:00.000Z

Last night, I had to be dragged kicking and screaming off to London. We first went out in Bromley and it was shit.

All I wanted to do was go home and continue my descent into HORROR MOVIE MAYHEM.

But I was told, "Come out, it's these nights that you expect to be rubbish that turn out class."

So we went into town.

Went to my favourite club - which neither of my friends had been to, and they FINALLY came round to my way of thinking: Pacha rocks.

Kinda wierd, how they dragged me to my favourite place and they they ones who ended up converted.

Anyway I just got this album: MINISTRY OF SOUND MASH UP MIX 2007, and it is totally sweet.

xx

Lady in the Water (2006)

2007-03-12T23:02:00.000Z

Do NOT see this film. Unless you are a brainless cunt. It is fucking shit.

Denial and Acceptance.

2007-03-11T11:47:00.000Z

I am 28 years old. And it's amazing.

My transformation has had one major side effect. And that side effect is a feeling of profound acceptance and well-being.

To repeat, I am not sure if this is the right place to declare the exact nature of my transformation. But this side-effect i surprising.

The ability to recognise my place in this world, and to accept my total worthiness to be here is one I never looked for. But now that I have it, I am saturated with joy.

All the major religions speak of the fickleness of transitory joy and happiness. True happiness and joy comes from within.

It sounds silly.

Yet it's so shockingly true. With an outside yardstick, nobody would ever measure my life and see my joy. But I've never ever been happier. Joyful in fact.

I'm working on a new script, (one I first wrote 5 years ago) I have date with an 18 year old girl next week. I've started pumping weights. And I'm even closer to a financial void than ever before.

Love.

x

Genesis.

2007-02-08T03:42:00.000Z

I'm not sure how to explain it, but there are tremendous transformations in my life which I feel the need to document. But I don't know where, and I don't know for whom.

When I say tremendous, I don't think I can fully express in text alone, the level at which these transformations are operating. This blog, this diary, does not come close to being a forum where I can express them. My readers, the few that remain, will not expect them from me. But that does not stop them from happening, and it does not stop me from wanted to express it.

In human terms our bodies totally replenish on a cellular level every 7 years. Therefore I am not the same person I was when I was twenty-one. But I'm not even the same person I thought I would be in seven years time, when I was twenty-one.

Not even close.

I never saw my life turning out this way, and I never would have imagined I would be this way. But when I hear myself speak, when I see the people I interact with, when I catch sight of myself with them, I cannot believe it.

I don't recognise myself.

But this is not a bad thing. It's profound. It's shocking. It's frightening, but it is not bad. Far from it. I've always been this man, since I was a child, except I never knew the words to express it. The concept was alien to me. But despite my failure to articulate, it never prevented my ability to experience it.

As to what I am talking about. Well, those of you who know me personally are aware of what I refer. But perhaps not aware of how powerful an experience it is for me.

It's not a new thing, it is something I began five years ago - only now it is manifesting itself in ways I never thought imaginable.

And I want to write it all down for others to see.

Except I don't know who those others should be.

xx

PLEASE HELP ME

2007-02-05T21:22:00.000Z

I really need to understand what this says:

Joyellb23, Joyellb13 do not work.

so can anybody see what I am missing, or that beautiful girl I met oh Friday to bo considered a lying peice of shit?
She was French and perhaps they write things differently to us.

Please: suggestion on a postcard:

doom
xx

ps. any no, I didn;t give her my contact details, now I see that perhaps I should have done.

KRYPTONITE

2007-01-30T15:21:00.000Z

I meet my LA film director friend yesterday and he was asking me about the scripts I was working on (his background is writing) and I told him about them.

He said that my initial idea was good and interesting, but the backdrop I have set it against is not. He suggested something else, and that something is quite a paradigm shift away.

It does, however, open up all sorts of new avenues for funding and finance. It does, unfortunately, also mean that the budget will shoot up. Which is not a bad thing, IF the script becomes more saleable. But it virtually guarantees that the script will be impossible to shoot for £100,000.

But as I said, if it means I can find £4,000,000 because of the marketability then that is a good thing.

The trouble is I now have to go away and write this fucking thing.

TRANSFORMATIONS UP AND DOWN

2007-01-28T22:26:00.000Z

1. This script I was supposed to have done in 3 days time, I *think* I a 75% completed outline. Kind interesting how creative ventures come out, you start one thing and finish another.

2. I am getting fat. I am 11 and 3/4 stone. Which is... about 77 kilos. Too much sitting around and not anywhere near enough exercise.

3. I have been invited somewhere unbelievably cool in just over two weeks. I hope it comes through, cos I'm quite looking forwards to it a lot! I'll have to re-bleach my hair just to be uber-cool. And it'll be an excuse for my to don my cravat! which is a cause to celebrate anyway.

xx

New World of the First threshold

2007-01-24T02:58:00.000Z

Wow.

It seems that I've been putting a lot of pressure on myself.

I faced a bit of a crisis point with this script, but it seems I am slowly hacking through it. I think I've found the direction that the story needs to go.

The secret is detachment. And that is infinately harder than it sounds. I've got a whole heap of very nicely written scenes. But they didn't hang with the central premise because I didn't really have one. So I have had to cut them and stick them in the deleted scenes folder.

Now, I *think* I've got a solid premise, it feels right, but it needs work - the trick now is to work EVERY scene around this central premise; this central relationship of my main characters. The mission. The objective. The goal.

A lot of movie scriptwriters talk about having character driven stories but rarely is that the case. I cannot fucking afford to have anything else but a character driven story so it's almost a blessing to me. Characters are what will drive any story.

The other thing is that the pressure I an putting on myself is that I want to make this as a feature film. In fact, I am GOING to make this as a feature film. So I have a strong motivation to get it right because I'm gonna put a lot of effort into getting it made.

I'm broke with no job and no girlfriend, this is the best time in my life for me to write a film script, and God willing, I hope I can write one good enough.

The fun will start when I start to try and raise money for it.

xx

My Head is a Mess

2007-01-22T05:02:00.000Z

Right.

It's boring for you all to read, but here goes.

I am going insane.

I have this tremendous idea for a script, which of course, I want to direct myself. And I've spent a lot of time developing a treatment which outlines the story.

There are some gaping logic and motivational flaws, plus I am not sure whether I should write a script that can be made for £100,000 or £5,000,000.

Realistically I should opt for the former, which could of course be made for £5,000,000 if it came my way. I had a script meeting with a writer pal of mine who I am working on the other script and we ended up spending the whole afternoon talking about mine.

And significantly what is wrong with it.

This scriptwriting malarky sucks ass.

I fucking hate it.

My story is a mess. It is utterly, utterly messed up.

I want to kill somebody.

Motivational Issues.

2007-01-19T03:55:00.000Z

I have motivational issues.

But not with regards to motivating myself, I must add. There is a common myth that writer's block is to do with an inability to come up with ideas.

That is rubbish.

Writer's block is when your characters do not have enough motivation to promt their actions. So the writer ends up having to come up with all kinds of bullshit plot and details in order to create something, and the result is rubbish.

I am dedicating a LOT of time into writing my first feature script as a solo writer. And it is about as hard as I thought it would be. IE. Hard.

I write some stuff, dwell on it, come up with some more and the result is becoming a mess. I am losing sight of the overall story and overall concept. So, I am reducing it down - kind of like how one would reduce down a bolognese sauce.

It's tough. And not made any more easier by the fact that I have given myself by the end of January to have a first draft. (I have a 50% plot outline so far.)

Anyway, life is dull. I exist in a world inside my head right now. My routine is bland, yet neccessary. I waste my time during the day and find I can only work at night - free from distractions.

I worry that this project is a pile of shit. But then I remind myself that it cannot be. I intend to find a way to raise money to shoot this myself. Either full budget (with other people's money) or low budget (with much less of other people's money.)

I'll never become a film director without making a film. No cunt is gonna give me a decent script to make, so I'll have to write one myself.

xxx

Why the iPhone will fail.

2007-01-15T21:47:00.000Z

This is why the iPhone will fail.

1. It is way too big. I mean, WAY too big. It's just silly - my old Motorola A1000 was not as big, and that was still WAY too big. It would be easier to carry my laptop around and stick that to my ear.

2. The touch screen for the keypad -despite what they say it is too small. As clever as it claims to be, it is useful only for elves.

2. By Steve 'cult of apple' Jobs' own admission, the killer app on a telephone is to make calls. The iPhone does not do this any better than any other telephone. In fact I bet it does it WORSE. Call dialling and connection times are likely to be a few seconds slower.

3. The flash drive storage is way too small... 4gig and 8gig is NOT enough, not no where NEAR big enough to hold all the music that us with a iPod can already do. Now, if I was to plug an iPhone into my Macbook and start transferring music across it will only take 20% of what I have - which is uselss. I will still need my iPod. Now, if you want to store VIDEO files, then that is even MORE absurd because video files are huge.

4. How many iPods have been sold? GABILLIONS OF THEM. Who in their right minds is going to shell out money for a thing they already have. And indeed, a crappier version of what they have.

5. The data transfer over the network is still only at 2.5g, which means it is much slower than they make it out to be.

6. Finally - MOST crucially of all... the TELEPHONE aspect of the iPhone is the most important. When you're on a train journey and you listen to your iPhone as a music player, you are going to run the battery down to the point that the PHONE (most important part) won't work for the rest of the day. Remember this when you are in the middle of nowhere and need to phone Steve Jobs to tell him that the iPhone sucks.

7. It is too espensive. I don;t know how they'll manage to sell it, the vast majority of the adult population is used to getting a FREE telephone every year with their contract renewal. From what I've heard, the iPhone won' come with any discount from the networks as that will 'devalue' the brand.

8. It's a theives wet dream.

NOW.

What will make the iPhone better.

1. Built in GPS reader and software.

2. 40 gig of storage.

3. It's FREE with your contract renewal.

4. It allows FREE internet access which SKYPE can then use to make free voice and picture calls.

HOORAY

2007-01-09T23:00:00.000Z

Today I got a hair cut.

More blonde has been put in.

and the old trampy bits have been hacked off.

And it seems there is hope that I won't remain in a state of apathic disdain towards girls forever. I flirted aggressivly with the girl who coloured my hair. She was half English, half Spanish. Like a collapsed star, the reflection of her big tits drew in my gaze as I sat there for 30 minutes whilst she pulled each strand of hair through the stupid hair net/hat thingie which was WAY too tight on my head. It hurt. But it was fun.

A wierd kind of pleasure/pain thing.

Anyway.

I hear Apple has released info on the upcoming iPhone.

I'll be getting one of those then. It looks pretty decent. A blackberry/iPod/3G/2G killing product.

I wonder which networks the phone will come out on?

AND I just had a cigarette.

I am a fucking idiot.

Transformation

2007-01-09T03:14:00.000Z

Life, I realise, is transformation.

We must recognise our own unwillingness and refusal, embrace our mentors, push past the resistance.

And transform into whatever we choose.

And right now I am transforming into a jaded and cynical man who wants nothing to do with women for the rest of his life.

New Year's Eve

2007-01-01T13:42:00.000Z

Last night, I stayed indoors and chilled out with my sister, one of my best friend's and his (new) wife.

I hate New Year's Eve. It is an over-rated wankfest of crap.

Here is a run-down of my last 4 New Year's Eves...

2005 - Went to my friend and played monopoly.

2004 - Went to a strip club and a private party in soho.

2003 - Went to my friend where three of us all took out PCs and we networked them and played link-up Command and Conquer.

And I think that 2003 was probably the greatest New Year's Eve, EVER.

Exuent Stage Left:

2006-12-21T02:13:00.000Z

And now we come to the end of this partcular chapter. After 21 months together - the girl I thought might be my queen is gone.

A wounding blow? Yes.

But I will live on and fight another day.

Nonetheless, I have lost one of the few things I my life I considered precious. Of course, life goes on, and I am in no rush to replace her. For the time being I need to focus on a few personal core activities.

Now that I consider that 2006 is nearly at an end, and I realise that I have managed only to move sideways. No apparent progress has been made.

-Since I hurt my back, my fitness has suffered as I have been unable to train. Therefore I have lost muscle and gained fat.

-Since I quit that job last December, I have had a handful of days work this year. Therefore I have lost the bulk of my savings and earned next to nothing.

-My quest to find representation as a commercial/music video director has so far led to nothing.

I do. However, have two secret projects I have been working on for some time. In 2007 I plan to journey Westwards to a place known as Los Angeles.

My weapons will be a DVD of my work and two 100 page documents known as scripts. With what money I wonder will I live on when I visit, but at least I have a place to stay - a delightful friend has made me an offer of an invitation. Together, him and I will become powerful allies.

There are also a few opportunities to direct low budget music videos, but these are unreliable and will probably lead nowhere.

When I read the above entry I think a lesser man would weep. But I remember that one day I will be dead and none of this will matter. All that will remain is whether or not I gained enough brownie points to get into heaven.

Go in peace

xxxx

Oliver Stone Masterclass

2006-12-15T02:06:00.000Z

This evening I went with a collaborator of mine to attend the Oliver Stone & Seamus McGarvey skillset masterclass up in London.

They were giving a talk/masterclass about the recent Oliver Stone movie World Trade Centre. I paid my money to go because I thought it would provide a rare insight into the mind of a director I have tremendously awe of.

Oliver Stone is a powerful auteur, with career success entirely well deserved, therefore his talk attracted several hundred people who came specifically to see him talk.

And to be honest, them and I should not have bothered. Oliver Stone turned up late and barely paid any attention to the questions and seemed to give 50% of his attention to the answers. There were glimmers of presence, but mostly he seemed distant, dreaming perhaps of the margaritas he would have on the plane back to the US because he got up and left after about 40 minutes.

In his defence I am sure he has been very busy in London doing whatever he needs to do, but really and truly, his effort portrayed little more than contempt for those attending.

This wasn't a bunch of morons standing in the rain waiting to catch a glimpse of their favourite actor. This wasn't a press conference full of dip-shit journalists who would only regurgitate the press release. This event was billed as a masterclass, sponsored by the National Film and Television school, as well as Skillset and the Script Factory. It was attended by professional film and televison workers who had a genuine interest in attending.

And for the rest of these people, I wonder how many of them found it to be a waste of time and money?

D.

xxx

Stargate SG-1

2006-12-10T22:47:00.000Z

I am not a sci-fi geek, but I do love Science Fiction as a genre, both for television and movies. One of the scripts I have just finished writing is a Sci-Fi, so I must have some love of the genre.

About 2 months ago, having only ever seen about 3 episodes, I decided to watch every single episode starting at number 1.

I have just finished watching the last episode of Season Five of Stargate (about episode 110) and I love it. Stargate is awesome, granted, the multi-episode and multi-season story arcs are no way as well developed as Babylon 5 or the new Battlestar Gallactica, but nonetheless, it remains a good, fun and diverting source of entertainment.

I have 100 episodes to go.

w00t.

xx

ps. Oh yeah, with my girlfriend, we are going through some difficulties - difficulties which I doubt any of you could relate to easily. In time, I might blog further about this, as it might provide an insight into something many would find quite odd.

I have woes...

2006-12-09T15:53:00.000Z

...girlfriend woes.

As in: "Now that we've come to the end of our rainbow," type of woes.

And it's not even my fault...

It's not even her fault.

It's some fucking shit or another - she's got some shit she needs to go through. And it sucks.

I'm not really sure what to do. She/us, was one of the few things in my life that I could count on to be stable and secure.

Just goes to show that it's the one thing thing you don't have your eye on that comes and bites you in the ass.

xx

Mother Fucking Codeine

2006-12-04T00:20:00.000Z

I don't know WHAT the fuck caused it ... actually I have my suspicions... and it all relates to a broken chair.

But, I have fucked my back up and I have been given a whole box of codeine from the doctor as the hospital today.

I can barely move without it.

Anyway, yesterday I fucked up my back. Today I am like a old fucking man hobbling around all bent-over and awkward.

Blah blah.

Until I took 120mg of the magic stuff and I can dance a jig now.

I'm gonna feel feel like a [insert some intelligent similie here] in the morning.

Ah well.

Night Sea Journey

2006-12-01T18:01:00.000Z

Right, this short little viral advert I've shot is now finished - I might polish it up on Monday with an extra picture grade by other than that in 3 days it will go live on youtube.

I want 100,000 hits.

It cost £100 and was a few of my mates in the park for 5 hours. It's not the greatest viral in the world, but for it's constraints it's pretty awesome.

I'm gonna send it to a few reps to see if they like it.

I think it demonstrates a lot of potential.

In other news, this feature film I've been co-writing for the last 12 months is now at it'st first draft and I have to say that it is pretty fucking awesome.

I also have a treatement for another feature film that I'm working on, and I think it's a really nice little thriller. All I need is a credible and recognised actor to say he'll be in it and I'm laughing. He doesn't even HAVE TO DO IT, just say that he will.

Anyway, I'm gonna go back to reediting my latest showreel.

xx

What is the Diary of a Bum about?

2006-11-25T20:37:00.000Z

I actually don't know anymore.

Originally it was some kind of journal of the things I was doing and the changes in my life that I was creating in order to facilitate my entry into my ambitions.

Before this blog, two years ago, my life was vaguely the same, but I was very different. The changes in my life and my attitudes are pretty hefty - in short, I've grown up and come a long way. I am also pleasantly surprised at who I am becoming. A wanky, self obsessed thing to say, but we bloggers are wanky and self obsessed.

Presently, I am on the path to becoming a director but I have a long way to go. I am finishing off my latest Viral Test Ad, which will be promoted on Youtube and all the other sites. (I will ask a few of you to link from your sites to the URL so that I can generate as mucg traffic as possible.)

Basically, my mission is to be a film director. I am closer to being a 'repped' director of commercials and music videos, but I am not there yet. It has been a very long journey, and there are a lot of sacrifices that I have made along the way in relation to my quality of living and lifestyle.

Anyway, I'm shooting a short promo video tonight as a favour to a friend. It's a fun few hours of work. In an underground club somewhere in greater London. And I'll cut it tomorrow.

D.
x

ps. In actual fact, I don't really put very much in here anymore. And there is actually more to write about than ever.

I need haircut

2006-11-22T12:45:00.000Z

And I need one badly.

I bring disgrace upon myself with this unruly mop on the top of my head.

My girlfriend cussed my haircut yesterday,
"I've never seen you looking worse than that. You look terrible."

Ah well.

My beautiful 22 year old girlfriend really loves me and I really love her.

Sickening really.

But the KEY to successful relationships is something I gleaned from a dear friend of mine who is now seperated from her husband.

"Finding a relationship is easy. Keeping it is hard."

And in this instand fix world that we live in, I think the foundations for long term bliss are often missing because one or both parties are both not equiped with the neccessary mental clarity/focus/wellbeing/experience to make it work.

Anyway, the key to relationships is keeping them going. And I don't mean by just by adding 'quick-fix' from a fucking magazine.

I mean sustainable, long term skills.

For instance.

I firmly believe that couples should NOT move in together until they are married. All that watching the same TV on the couch, smelling each other's shit, quarelling about washing up blah de blah eats into any passion a relationship might have.

All of that should be saved until a firm commitment has been made. And then, only then, once you have found the 'right one' will the above frivoloties become meaningless - because a much deeper commitment has been made.

As old fashioned as it sounds, I| am deadly serious - the number of relationships I have seen destroyed because a couple moved in together. I'm not gonna even bother to explain this further because it is so fucking obvious.

So there you go.

Thinking of moving in with somebody special?

Don't.

Get married first.

November

2006-11-13T22:57:00.000Z

Right.

Last time I posted, I had just had the meeting with the director's rep who liked me. But could not sign me.

Basically, I needed more stuff on my Showreel so immediately after the meeting I started making plans.

The 'big budget' music video which I so desperately needed fell through. Postponed to next year.

The other American guy - with an even bigger budget and wicked idea... that fell through too.

But my own unfailable plan was to film a wicked little viral ad that would allow me to try a few new things and show what I could do for £200 in the park with a few friends.

This video COULD NOT FALL THROUGH, since I am the fucking boss.

To cut a long story short, I shot it 16 days after the meeting and I am in the process of editing and finishing off the special effects.

I also just came back from Belgium, where I spent three glorious days with my beautiful girlfriend in the most boring toy-town you could ever imagine.

But as miserable as it was, we found the coolest and equally shittest night club in the world. the layout and lighting system were really awesome but the DJ ket switching tunes and genres which the crowd would respond to with a cheer and 10 seconds of dancing and then they'd go back to drinking.

I suppose Europe doesn;t have such a dancing thing going on in their clubs.

Still.

Me and my girlfriend went to the highest stage in the coolest corner and showed them exactly how to do it.

Hugs
xx

Progress at Last

2006-10-19T23:32:00.000Z

Today I had a meeting with a Director's Rep at a prodution company in London - the rep liked my work and said she saw that I had a lot of potential.

Although she said she could not sign me then and there, she said that she wanted to, but she said she wanted to see my next music video and the next viral/test commercial that I shoot.

The reality is, that no matter how much she believes in me, it would be impossible to sell me as a director without a portfolio of work that the CLIENT (ie the ad people) could specifically relate to.

But, anyway - I cannot rehash the whole meeting here, but it was positive and once I have my next music video, and maybe another viral/commercial then I'm gonna go back to her and make her rep me as a director.

So, with choices are interesting, my absolute priority is to get two/three more example of work to her or any other agency as soon as possible.

Practically that mean 10 weeks. So, do I get a shitty temp job between now and then or do I save all my energy/time?

In other developments - I might have another music video coming up for a guy with an interesting sound... and LOT of talent and motivation .... and a bit of money.

Watch this space
xx

A daze

2006-10-17T01:28:00.000Z

The last few days have gone by in a bit of a haze.

I have no source of income and by all stretch of the imagination my level 1 attempts to find a job as a director have failed.

That is fine, because it was to be expected.

In other news, the rascals for whom I would be directing my next music video have delayed. No surprise there.

BUT

In other news.

I am a man on fire. I have had this idea kicking about my head for some time for a low budget feature script. Now, there is a higher budget, low budget script I have been working on, but that is another story - this is my low budget FIRST FEATURE type script which I am working on, on my own.

Amazingly enough I am really passionate and empowered about this and I have not felt this way about writing in a long time. (four years I think)

Perhaps I am a fool because I should get a job - a temp job even - but right now I need to write this fucking outline for the script.

But I need money.

fuck.

that awful void that I exist within.

doom
x

(fake?) Nike Air Max 95

2006-10-11T21:26:00.000Z

A few months ago I bought a pair of cheap Nike Air Max 95s from a geezer who lives near me.

A couple of weeks ago I bought another pair. I now I 2 pairs of trainers that when I was at school would have made me ten times cooler than I actually was.

I genuinely do not know if they are fake or not. But I can be 100% certain that:

a) when I wear them they feel good.
b) when I stuck them in the washing machine they did not fall apart.
c) On close inspection they look and feel real.
d) REAL nike trainers cost £2 to make.
e) REAL Nike air trainers are mass produced in the far east

So, here I am paying £70 for two pairs of trainers that look/smell/feel the same as two pairs that would cost £220 in the shops.

To be honest, their authenticity is largely irrelevant because the purpose of a trainer is to look good and feel nice. Which brings me to the funny part.

Suddenly everybody near me is wearing Nike Air Max 95s. London has been flooded with thousands of imported trainers from somewhere and people are buying them in droves.
And when I say everybody is wearing them - it's like being back in 1995 when the Reebok Classic and Ralph Lauren shirt became the uniform of Kevs up and down the country. Everybody is wearing them - The Nike Air Max 95 has become the standard issue of crooks and villians everywhere.

And it makes me laugh

Out loud.

Doom
x

Best of the Best

2006-10-09T10:49:00.000Z

On Saturday just gone, I was best man at my best friends wedding.

The twist to the story is that it was 100% certain to be the smallest wedding I am ever going to go to in my life.

There were two guests.

Me and my girlfriend.

I think this is the only time in my life I will be best man, and give a best man's speech. And my charm, oratory skills, humour, vast life experience, articulatory ability were all used entertaining three people for approximately 2 minutes.

But all said and done, it was a beautiful day and a tiny tear came to my eye as the registrar accounced to my dear friends,

"I declare you man and wife"

But I held that fucker down and it it only manifested itelf as a glint - but even then, my lovely girlfried noticed it.

I told her it was my allergies.

She told me I was lying.

x

Success

2006-10-09T10:44:00.000Z

After a lot of using the Jedi Mind Trick I finally managed to get the boss dude in the Apple Store to replace my Apple Mac.

Which means....I got a brand new Apple Macbook Pro!

AND - they swapped the two hard drives over which means all the data AND the windows XP partition has moved over too.

Hooray for me!

x

APPLE MAC IS GAY

2006-10-04T21:45:00.000Z

No cigarettes for 10 days.

I have been an absolute cunt to nearly everybody. But now I am better.

Lots of other stuff going on: Still have no job, still running out of money... but I have this music video coming up which is good.

But in other news:

I have been walking around in a RAGE because the apple store in regent street is so diabolocally frustrating.

They are infringing my consumer right by virtually refusing to repair my broken MacBook Pro. I have never been so shocked by a company in my life.

And I am pretty sure what they are doing is illegal - for the last few weeks my laptop has been overheating and shutting down. Every visit I make to the apple store they say I need to make an appointment with a specilist to have it looked at.

BUT they won't actually let me make one.

And they won't do it on the phone either.

So you have to log onto the website at midnight and when I did it said: NO MORE BOOKINGS FOR TODAY.

I wish I had the energy to explain properly but basically they are blockading my attempts to repair my BROKEN LAPTOP purchased 4 months ago.

It is very fortunate that I am not a deranged psychopath or I WOULD BURN THEIR FUCKING SHOP TO THE GROUND AND SHOOT EVERY CUNT WHO WORKED THERE.

But seriously, I am not alone in this anger - several people I know (all in the media) are seriously disgruntled with the dog shit service. We are the movers and shakers of tomorrow and we are not a bunch of people that Apple wants to upset.

A lot of editors and technicians won;t use apple products and services because when they do go wrong - there is no backup and no support.

Fuck you Apple.

doom
x

TODAY I STOP SMOKING

2006-09-25T02:17:00.000Z

Right.

This post should be self explanatory.

Today I cut out all cigarettes and cigars.

Zero.

Zip.

Zilch.

I fucking hate it. I hate it hate it hate it.

So for a few days I am gonna be dopamine deficient since nicotine is a dopamine supressant and it takes a few days (3 in fact) for the neurotransmitters to kick back in.

That means I will become the fucking devil. But I will keep myself busy.

I have some other shit to sort out... but that is all secondary... I should have a meeting with a director's rep for a production company later this week and I have two treatments, one for a music video and one for a spec commercial that I have to finish.

On the plus side, I am shooting a nice music video in about 4 weeks time and off the back of their production I am piggy backing one of my own (a spec commercial) BUT it will take a lot of post production special effects and I don;t yet have anybody who can help me out with this.
.. and to get it right I need to involve somebody from the get go.

Also, there is a great dancer/choreographer who knows a lot of people and I have to meet her some time this week to sort out a TAP DANCING ROUTINE!

woo hoo!

Anyway.

No more fucking tobacco. Wish me luck you monkees.

Nobody wants me?

2006-09-19T19:22:00.000Z

More emails from Production companies.

All of them telling me to get fucked.

So what should I do?

A weaker man would buckle.

I will not.

I've got these 3 projects coming up in next few weeks and a couple of leads on some full budget projects further down the line.

On the negative side - I have a rapidly declining bank balance, I'm not going to the gym and I am smoking way too many cigarettes.

Intangible

2006-09-18T17:00:00.000Z

Last few days have been as equally eventful as they have been uneventful.

I am shooting another music video in about 5 weeks time which should be good as they have an AWESOME tune which I have some good ideas for. The tune is good enough for me to pull out some aces that I've been keeping on hold for a while. So hopefully I will pull everything together to make a video that will punch way above it's weight.

I've had a scattering of emails back from productions companies - one seems vaguely interested and wants me to get back to them in 6 months time and the rest are just 'thanks but no thanks'.

On a more positive note, I had a chat with a guy today who might have a very strong link for me to shoot a video for a pretty big female singer. It was just a chat, and more often than not, these things go nowhere. BUT - a lot of things DO start with just a chat and a nudge in the right direction so who knows.

In other news - one of my best friends is expecting a baby in the next three weeks, also, my oldest friend is having a baby in five months - AND my favourite DoP had a baby last week.

Spread the love

Doom
x

Move on Up

2006-09-06T15:36:00.000Z

Chances are now, that if you are a advertising production company now then my DVD showreel is somewhere in your office.

Gathering dust or coffee stains.

Nonetheless, I just had an invite to see a band play somewhere north of London. My friend is their manager and has invited me to see them play.

I told him I want to shoot their video, but it is me and my other friend (from film school) who BOTH want to do it. So now the competition time begins.

My friend is properly represented as a director and has directed one big full budget promo (in another country in europe) but he will be operating solo as he doesn't have a team in the UK. BUT I think I can do a better job because I am part of a production company in UK so I can bring together the whole package and not just me as 'director'

Anyways, I need to use the shaolin power to get myself in the line for directing the video - I won't backstab anybody - but I need to do my best to get myself at the top of the list of names.

Doom
x

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE INTERNET?

2006-09-03T20:17:00.000Z

I have a Macbook pro running OSX and Windows.

MAC SIDE - OSX

Mail does not connect

Software update does not connect

MSN does connect

SKYPE does connect

Mozilla does connect - BUT sites like Hotmail, NTLWORLD, TRIBAL WAR do not load.

WINDOWS PC SIDE

AVG update does not connect

SpyBot S&D does not connect

Dungeons and Dragons does not connect

Internet explorer does connect - BUT certain sites do not load - again, Hotmail, Tribal Wars/

Why the fuck does HALF the internet not fucking work? It's fucking stupid AND annoying.

With a Little help from my friends

2006-09-01T02:18:00.000Z

A little while ago I did a favour for a friend which landed him his dream job at a great company in Soho. I've known the guy for a while and given the short notice I was the only guy who could sort him out.

It was cool, I'm really glad he's got what he wanted - it makes me happy - and to have helped him make me happy too.

Anyway, for the last couple of days I have enrolled my girlfriend as my P.A. to contact 30 ad agencies and print off and sort out the letters and envelopes that accompany my DVD showreel.

And I really appreciated the favour, it made it easy for me and it got a lot of stuff done. Working together with people really fucking works and at times really makes things run easier - more fun. Of course I had to buy her lunch and cook her dinner. But hey, I enjoyed being her boss (more than she enjoyed being my secretary probably)

Anyway.

I've met a few people this week - I had to visit a guy on set on a feature film in London which was cool cos I got to hang out and check things out without having a job to do.

Things are moving. I just need to crank up the pressure and get them moving faster.

But the lesson is: we can do nothing alone. We need to enroll/enlist/press-gang/coerce other people to do the shit with us.

x

Juice

2006-08-29T01:34:00.000Z

It been a quiet and cool few days - I took some time away from it all and went to visit my sister.

A lot of things have been playing on my mind - and I wish I could blog about them because it is this real nitty gritty stuff that is what I want to feature on my blog. Alas, my anonymity is not as well preserved as perhaps I would hope, and I do not want to reveal anything that might come and bite me in the ass down the line.

In short - in one development there is a third party (another director) whom my producer is acquainted with and who wants me to re-introduce to my producer with regards to my producer representing him as a director.

With him on the books it would make the production company more marketable - and therefore make me a greater chance of employment through them - but it might also squeeze me out.

However, at least it would mean there is something to be squeezed out of because right now there is nothing.

I will have a think about it. But after a few days to clear my head I think the best choice is to make the re-introduction and let the producer deal with anything he needs to.

BUT

there is more to every picture than is immediately apparent - and whilst I pride myself on my perception, if I cannot get close enough to something then I cannot get a full picture.

I hope that makes fucking sense

x

Feature Film Script

2006-08-22T03:33:00.000Z

10 months ago I had about 10 meetings with various writers based in London - my objective to find among them a collaborator for a feature film script I want to produce.

In those meetings I met a varied bunch of people with varying degrees of talent and experience. Among them I found a writer - a very talented chap and together with more or less weekly meetings we have been developing a feature length movie over the last 10 months.

Over time I am developing a style - and that style is to move silently - most people do not know what I am up to and I prefer it that way.

Of course, I would be prejudiced about this - but it is my belief that we have come up with a really strong concept and script. And it is my belief that with concentrated effort I can turn this into a viable project. My co-writer agrees on this because of course - we have put a lot of effort into this. Now is the time to make noise about what I am doing.

Presently we have a second draft treatment and it is now time to start putting into motion the logistics of bring this project into fruition.

The first draft of the script will be written soon - and now it is time to begin to search for actors to star in it. Raising money will all be based around that.

Let me explain:

As a first time director:

Completed Script + no cast attached = bugger all interest from anybody.

Completed Script + 1 or 2 recognised stars = People want to give money.

and it is that simple

As a first time director - if i can also attach experienced Directors of Photography, Camera Operators, Art Directors etc then all become good - their experience balances out my newbie status.

This is what I want to do. This is my dream.

So, if any of you know an A-List Actor - drop me a line please cos I have a treatment I want them to read.

Doom
xx

Progress

2006-08-21T12:03:00.000Z

Just in case any of you have been wondering about my progress in becoming a commercials director etc.

Well today I received an email.

My first rejection e-mail

So at least somebody watched enough of the reel to know they hated it.

xx

What do MMOPRGs teach us about real life?

2006-08-16T20:50:00.000Z

An online-role dungeons and dragons role playing game has more in common with real life movie making than most people would imagine.

Film.

You put together the package. Each element a specialised factor in itself.

Script

director

Lead cast

Producer

Director of photography/Cameraman

Role Playing Raid Party

You put together the team. Each element a specialised factor in itself.

Put together core players in core classes:

Cleric,

fighters,

wizards,

Bard,

Paladin,

Rogue

Now - in both - if the team are all newbie skum then the project does not work and everybody dies/fails.

In both - If the team are all seasoned veterans then they might often be jaded and cannot be arsed to run at project 100% if undeed then run project at all.

The best blend in either a movie making project or a group raid, IS a blend of ENTHUSIASM and EXPERIENCE.

The experience GUIDES whilst the enthusiasm DRIVES.

So, as part of this movie I am trying to bring together I am gonna have to pull together a team of veterans to balance out my newbie-skum-ness.

But I won't talk much about it for now, be assured however, that the Lord of Doom has cards to play not yet revealed.

Aces and Eights

2006-08-11T02:55:00.000Z

Today, with my mother and father I went for dinner at my god-mother's home in Chelsea - although I have barely seen the lady in 20 odd years she is still technically my god-mother.

Nonetheless, after dinner we smoked cuban cigars and we played poker.

And my dad whooped mine and everybody elses fucking asses.

I did not get ONE single decent hand and he went on to ace nearly every single hand winning every chip on the table.

Still, dinner at a plush flat in a fantastic part of town was a splendid way to spend an evening. There is a lot of backstory to many people there and what led us there tonight, and a lot of interesting points that I cannot be arsed to explain - which is a shame.

But in short, money/success is fleeting and for those to whom it comes with no real effort can find themselves unstuck very easily.

Anyway, I consider life to be a game of poker, we have the hand we are dealt and from that we have to play. I wonder how different things would be for me if I was to be given a different hand?

Would I be better or worse? Would I be more successful or less? Would I be a nicer or nastier person?

The truth is, I don't know. And any pondering over this is fruitless - I have what I have and that is what I have to play with.

Lucky for me that I have my father's charm and my mother's good looks.

In other news, showreel blah blah blah. Sending it out. Not sending it out. Making calls. Not making calls.

I still do not have a job and I have no apparent leads over getting one soon either. I just need to keep on doing what I am doing.

Just do it more.

x

With the smell of cowshit

2006-08-07T13:55:00.000Z

With the smell of cow shit and fields for miles and miles around me I spent the last few days up in the Northern wastelands of England visiting my beautiful 22 year old girlfriend.

It was nice to get away from the dirt and noise of London and chill out way up north.

I am a London boy, born and raised and I love the city - she asked me whether or not I could live in the countryside when I am older - I cannot really see that happening.

But never say 'never' right?

On the plus side I called up on Friday a guy I did a video for about a year ago.

He has a new track out soon - featuring a pretty respected artist in the house/soul world and a video for that tune might be in the making - which is ALL good.

At the moment I have 3 leads for new music videos and they all range in budget and scope and whatnot. There are no real leads for paid work at the moment BUT as long at the projects are coming in then I have no reason to complain (much) because it means my reel will get better and better.

There is a short film I want to write the script to very soon as there is a production fund I want to submit it to.

anyway

xx

Adaptive change

2006-08-03T22:52:00.000Z

Today I had two meetings:

a) Lunch with an old school villian/gangster.

b) Late night appointment with a guy who appraised my showreel for me.

The first meeting was cool and I had fun.

The second meeting gave me a lot of postive comments on how to change the way I have promoted my material on my showreel. so much so that I regret the last 10 copies I have sent out of version 2.

The guy I met is an actor I know who I cast in a film I shot years and years ago. More recently he had a small role in one of the biggest films of the year...

Nonetheless, he's helped my do some fine-tuning of my reel which means I have yet MORE editing and authoring of my DVD.

But it's all good because it means my reel will look MUCH better.

(Matilda, I should send you the NEW reel because the old one was shit.)

xx

R&R

2006-07-31T22:53:00.000Z

So this weekend I went out - I actually went out to a club/bar/restaurant up in Mayfair and a totally chilled out and cool evening was had.

Funny, I didn't realise how stressed and vexed I had become over my objective to be a commercials director. The last few weekends have been spent slaving away and every single day I have been doing something or another for my reel etc so there has been no real escape for me.

So I went out and chilled out.

And on Sunday I chilled out too.

And it was the best thing I could do. I also managed to speak a lot of Russian with a woman who was there too... and I totally NEED to continue with my russian lessons because being able to speak this exotic language is a skill I totally dig having.

Anyway - I was gonna spend today contacting TEN production companies but I managed only ONE. Not because I am lazy - but I suddenly realised that I need to put together a montage of all my work (and include my older stuff in the montage only) so I have spend that last 12 hours slaving away over a laptop cutting ALL my work down to 80 mother fucking seconds.

That's it.

80 seconds.

Cos no cunt is gonna sit through my whole showreel. So I have reduced it down and set it to "The devil is a loser" by LORDI - a kitcsh tune.

But this causes a few problems because I have already sent it out to about 20 people and 2 production companies. And the montage version is better.

fuck it
x

Ghetto Fabulous

2006-07-28T21:22:00.000Z

So, my girlfriend is returning from Paris, all of my friends are doing stuff and I have nothing to do.

So I take my first trip to blockbuster video in about a year. Virtually every film I see worth watching I have seen already. But I manage to pick out two movies that look quite interesting - two Westerns in fact. And I was taught in media studies that the whole Western Genre was dead. So I am intrigued by these two very modern movies.

Anyway, it's a friday night and it's dark outside in my particular part of South London. I leave the video shop and walk to the bank to get some cash for cigarettes. (I am wearing my brand new Nike Air Max for the first time and my incredibly expensive looking watch whilst listening to music on my 40gig iPod))

In the corner of my eye I see this dude walk up to me.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

I glance at him and shake my head.

As I walk on I see him signal for me to remove my headphones.

"Nah mate."

And I walk on.

As I walk, I give my standard response to mad people,

"Nah, mate - it's alright."

Walking away I see this shadow movie up alongside me and I see him again signal for me to remove my headphones.

Fuck it. I turn to him and take out my headphones.

I see clearly a 30 something skinhead dude with a string vest and a bottle of beer in his pocket.

"You're that guy who gets the rips from ******, I'm the guy who gets them to him"

"Yeah, yeah, that's right." I answer.

(my first choice of response was "Didn't you get send to prison? What are you doing out?" but I think I chose wisely)

"You do the videos, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, remember I played you that tune and you said you'd do the video for it one day when we finished the song?"

So yeah - it turns I know him from a while ago. I sort of remember the song, but since i was strolling down the road in my own world the conversation we had was kinda all over the place.

Anyway, far from being some fucktard out to beg/steal/kill he wanted to know if I might be able to direct the music video for a R'n'B artist who is the nephew of a rather famous footballer.

And if he is not bullshitting then they have a lot of money available. Which is funny - cos I NEVER hear people tell me they have money.

But anyway - we'll see how it goes. He said he'll call by Wednesday.

I bet you he won't.

Perception Versus Reality

2006-07-26T21:21:00.000Z

I am certain that the above has been the title of one my previous blog posts from times gone by. It is a very interesting concept - what defines our reality ? -our own perception - or how others perceive us - or some bastardised combination of the two? Or perhaps none of the above.

Is how I portray myself on this blog close to the valid reality I exist within? Well, I choose to share what I choose to share - and any determining here will be subjective... because there is neither angel nor devil upon my shoulder.

Anyway, that is a digression.

For the last few days I have been sending out my directing reel. Mostly so far I have been sending to people I know, and waiting for feedback and advice before moving on.

Soon, I will start sending it out further and wider - but according to some advice I received today it might be more worth my time to choose a small number of ad agencies - maybe FIVE - that would be a good number - And harrass the living shit out of them.

Make them know my name.

Until they relent.

And give in and give me a job. I know I can do what I can do - and I finally have the evidence to proove it.

But it is hard - I am scared to push myself - perhaps it is rejection I am afraid of, perhaps the sum of all my work and the culmination of blood sweat and tears is too precious to me to casually and recklessly throw out in every direction.

I am passionate about what I do, and I love doing it more than anything - but I feel like an outsider - perhaps inside I feel like I don't deserve success - I'm in a comfort zone at the moment and I need to step out of it.

These things do develop naturally, I am 1000 times more ready to do this now than I was 5 years ago - I cannot be sure if that was an inevitable and natural progesssion, or because I pushed myself to succeed at the things I pushed myself at which in turn created habits which because natural.

Either way, I need to step up my game. And it will be tough. But it is what I need to do. Step out of the comfort zone and up the tempo.

All fun ad laughter

But I wouldn't want it any other mother fucking way

d.
xxx

ps.

Today I had coffee and a chat with a remarkable young woman - I say remarkable because she shared with me advice and ideas that, although I was already familiar with them - it had taken me YEARS to figure all that stuff out - and she was only 22! If I knew that stuff when I was 22 then I'd probably have taken over the world by now. But she was a charming and lovely woman, so I wish her very good fortune and hope we meet again. Perhaps had I known I would have been with her for so long, I would have suggested we get sushi - as she is a serious fan.

so WHAT do I do with my showreel?

2006-07-25T14:44:00.000Z

After months and months of waiting - now that I have my showreel completed - what do I do with it?

I am sending it out to all personal contacts first, friends, and friends of friends and so on.

But what really happens? It is quite a basic reel - nothing exciting or masterfully executed. But it demonstrates ability to direct.

Every cunt has to start somewhere - so what about me?

I have a list of production companies in London. It looks like there is cold calling to do.

I am not a proud man

2006-07-23T19:13:00.000Z

I've worked and I've paid my taxes, so in my time of need (relative of course) I am currently unemployed and registered so.

Anyway, a little while ago I was sent on a course to 'help me back to work' a course which I could have given, and indeed a lot of the time I actually did.

Nonetheless, I met an assorted bunch of people and amusingly enough all of our fears were he same - before the course we all thought that the others on the course would be degenerates and misfits.

Actually it was very, very fun. I had lunch each day with ex-convicts whose stories and lives I found fascinating. So much so that one of them has inspired me on a short filmn script/feature film script I am developing. Of course, I learned about various degrees of criminality as well but since I am a good-wholesome young man, none of that makes any difference.

I find different people engaging on so many different levels - put too many types of one person in a room and I find it profoundly dull. But it is the variety and complexity of various group dynamics that I find enthralling.

It is not often we find ourselves cast together with strangers from different backgrounds - but it's fun and can be very revealing.

HOORAY

2006-07-20T00:13:00.000Z

After months and months of blood sweat and waiting my DIRECTING SHOWREEL IS NOW COMPLETE.

That's right, you mother fuckers, I can now officially taut myself as a director looking for work. And all my whining about waiting for other people is now OVER.

Of course, I might remain 'looking for work' for quite some time.

But now begins PHASE TWO whereby the preparation and the warm ups that I have been doing are now all put into place... and the game begins.

I am entering a point in my life that I have been waiting for, for 2 years. I am genuinely excited at the possibilities that are in front of me. Who knows, maybe now it's a piece of piss... who knows? maybe now the REALLY hard work comes.

But either way, I now have something to back up my ambitions. Something solid - it might now be the best showreel in the world - but it is a start.

Any of you want to see a copy? then drop me a mother fucking e-mail and offer me something priceless in return - because this showreel is my fucking blood sweat and tears.

Hugs
x

I've been busy

2006-07-18T22:54:00.000Z

I edit, render, re-cut, render, apply effect, render,

ALL of this made needlessly more complicated by the fact that shit cunt binary intel Macs do not run the older (1-2) years plug ins and stuff.

I am busy - real busy. Sorry for lack of posts

I haven't forgotten you all.

x

Up the Pressure

2006-07-13T13:46:00.000Z

Literally, beyond a couple of music video meetings and script meeting - my life has been hunched over by Macbook Pro and my old G4 powerbook... which I have both together on my desk like some special forces comman centre.

Moviemaking and blah de blah is deeply unsocial as it is social - half the time is spent out there meeting people and doing stuff and the the other half is tucked away in tiny pockets of darkness.

It's nice - with most things the balance works well as both sides are contrasted by each other.

The test commercial is almost done - with a following wind I might get it done tonight... the post sound on the short film is quickly chasing behind. Perhaps I need to forsake doing a picture grade as that might be unneccessary... it will be time consuming to say the least.

I am so close to finishing my objectives - I forgot what it felt like to be productive.

I just need to have faith and follow through.

xx

Shit Cunt Binary

2006-07-09T22:39:00.000Z

My Apple Mac is great...

BUT

The fucking stupid Intel Mac means that I have to update 75% of my software which includes 100% of my CORE IMPORTANT VIDEO EDITING SOFTWARE.

Final Cut Pro was fixed ages ago - I got the UB version before I upgraded... So was Soundtrack Pro... But I had to update fucking Quicktime Pro, all the shitty fucking Codecs I used to use needed to be replaced... the AC3 is not even supported yet.

BUT one software I have been unable to update... mother fucking DVD Studio Pro means my OLD SHOWREEL CANNOT BE FINISHED ON MY NEW MAC because the software does not work.

What an arse... I had it all ready so I had to drag and drop the files into place and my summer showreel 2006 would be finished when my projects were.

But no.

I NEED DVD STUDIO PRO 4.1 before I can DO ANYTHING more to my showreel.

I'm in a pickle...can anybody help?

The Big Push

2006-07-07T00:10:00.000Z

It is my ultimate life/career objective to make movies. In the short term term I aim to become a commercials/music video director. But longer down the line I want to make movies.

I say this because recently I have lost momentum - but the day is not done... I have pulled out all of the stops and with no hesitation I am moving forwards with all cyclinders oiled and pumped up to get my shit done and dusted.

I have opted to complete the post-production sound on my short film myself - fuck waiting for anybody else - I have not done any PPS work since I was 20 and a few things have changed since then... I used to use a programme called Soundscape which rocked back then.

Now, of course, I can sit in my bedroom and do it all on my laptop - it is taking me a while to get back in the saddle - but back I am. SOUNDTRACK PRO is quite a nifty programme - not industry standard but it does the job that it says it does.

I am also whacking in some special visual effects using Adobe After Effects, but since I have ZERO training on this it is taking quite a lot of time.

FINAL FINAL delivery of the music video takes place tomorrow and they want to talk about the next two videos which is good for me.

Anyway, the point is that I am doing what I need to do because for too fucking long I have been talking about getting my Directing Showreel completed and as of yet it is NOT.

There are some comprimises being made about the material being featured - the new compositor is unavailable to complete the job so it seems that I have to use the old fucked up version of the Test Commercial... but ce la vie.

Either that or wait another fucking 3 months.

Whatever.

I'm back, mother fuckers - and watch out because I burn when I'm not and I'm smoking like a mother fucker - the end is in sight and then I BEGIN PHASE TWO.

(one day I will look back at this and wonder what all the fuss was about because I will take my inevitable success for granted and forget the trouble and effort I went to in order to accomplish my ambitions.)

My love to you all, my children

Doom
x

Cliches as cliches go

2006-07-06T17:55:00.000Z

There is a reason why chiches become cliches - and that is nothing to do with the poeticism of the saying or the writer's laziness.

It is because they are fucking true.

So here's a cliche for you to mull over:

If you want something done right - do it yourself.

I cannot be arsed to explain this further so just trust me.

In other news I am busy using my Macbook pro to do the Post Production sound for my latest short movie - I LOVE post production because after all the blood piss and tears you finally actually see your work come together.

love you all

xx

I am a diamond....

2006-07-04T12:57:00.000Z

On Saturday after barely any sleep, I woke up bright and early and went to my friend's house to dig up his patio.

So if you add it all up:

60 square meters of smashing concrete

5 tons of rubble

2 fry ups

3 cups of tea

3 cups of coffee

1 curry

1 radio blaring playing Kiss Fm (not listened to for 4 years or something)

1 football match on tele

1 sun tan

40 cigarettes

=

I am a proper geezer - if only for 1 weekend.

1/3 (+2)

2006-06-28T22:54:00.000Z

One down and two (four) to go.

I took delivery of the master copy of the music video I directed yesterday. I still need the digital video file on DVD so that I can edit it onto my showreel but for all intent and purpose I consider the project finished.

The TEST COMMERCIAL and SHORT FILM are both in the final stages on completion but the delays keep coming thick and fast... another story for another time.

Nonetheless.

Today I went down to the rap guys studio to talk about the next video - and indeed they want me to do another TWO VIDEOS for them. Still low budget jobbies but the money involved has gone up (none of it goes to me) but it is a 40% and 300% increase respectively.

The first one they want in 3-4 weeks time and then next one a further 3-4 weeks after. Now that I have shot a video for them already and proven that I am not a waste of time I know that I have their respect so it will be much easier to work out something more creative.

Which is good fun because the tunes are quite cool.

In other news I have purchased a Brand Spanking New MACBOOK PRO and a OEM copy of windows and downloaded the BOOTCAMP BETA which allows me to run WINDOWS XP on my Apple Mac.

That's right.

I can play games.

And now I have immersed myself into the Dungeons and Dragons world of Stormreach as a Holy Paladin.

And I fucking love it.

but not as much as a fucking love you.

doom
x

Birthdays and blah de blah

2006-06-23T11:42:00.000Z

Today I returned to the chiropractor man - I told him I would not curse this time.

To make things more interesting he poked needles into back and then twisted them around.

Nice.

And then came the oblogatory bone crunching fun.

In other news my birthday came and went - I celebrated it quietly with my sister and girlfriend in our favourite sushi place.

In a rather touching moment the restaurant actually dimmed the lights and then brought a cake out for me and my sis. That was quite nice.

Very nice.

Anyway, my 3 projects - 1 of them is now completed. And 2 closer to completion.

I am not GAY!

2006-06-18T16:00:00.000Z

Just to clarify!

I went to a chiropractor who clicked and manipulated my spine back into place.

The reason I wrote the last post the way I did was because the reality is that i DID pay money to be manhandled half naked on a couch by this massive old white guy.

Which is quite amusing - and because I am 100% comfortable in my like of women - I thought it would be funny to write it in a different style - but PAY attention - everything I wrote is true and those of you who have been to a chiropractor will know that it is being CRUSHED to death almost.

Hugs and kisses

only for the girls.

xxx

Orchestral manoevers

2006-06-15T23:59:00.000Z

My first instruction was to remove my top. I did so and was then told to face the window. I know he was looking at my physique as he made a comment about my posture. Gentle pokes and prods whilst small talk was made he was sizing me up and apprasing my flexibility.

Then he laid me down on the table, all 6"2 of him, burly and stout, and with gentle precision he placed his hands on me and gently eased me into position - to become his rag doll, and to be toyed with at leisure.

I sensed it was coming - but I did not know the song we'd be singing. A large hand pressed onto my spine and as I was rolled over I knew resistance was futile,

A moment of pressure and then my whole being was crushed with such an instant crescendo that the staccato snaps of my spine cued me to start the choir,

"Aaaaaaarghh!" I exasperated, "Fuck me!"

A pause and as he rolled me over

"Not tonight."

The orchestra was just warming up,

"Aaargh, oh my God!"

As the the weight bared down on me. His rebuke was instant and practised,

"God is not here."

He continued to cue the human percusionist who cracked and wailed along with each poweful motion.

When the music ended and lying prone and defensless I started to chuckle, remembering the words that had lured me there,

"He is such a big and gentle man"

Indeed he was.

But next time I would bring my iPod.

Reversal of Fortune

2006-06-13T23:55:00.000Z

Since the weekend things have been awesome - the freefall I have been in seemed to level itself out and is now reversing. My self -esteem has gone straight back up to 90%.

The compositor for the test commercial has been in touch and I went round to his crib to check the progress of the magic today. This is good and it is coming along. With LUCK it will be done tomorrow... but by Monday I hope it might be finished. (this is my target as I will be 28)

The Short film on-line and grade is now scheduled so that is all good. The sound editing is soon to start - the only hiccup is the mother fucking music licensing - I sent the paperwork WEEKS AGO and the cunts have done nothing since. No reply to my emails or nothing.

In other news, the Music Video people have FINALLY said that they will send the CD of the audio AIFF file to the other editors place... that means I can FINALLY finish that project too.

AND I have restarted development for this feature film script.

I just had to weather the storm. The worst is over.... but I am SOOO close to having my reel done it is silly. I cannot wait.

That is when the HARD work really starts.

Cos then I have to send it out and then face rejection... but I'm gonna plan it like that dude out of Prison Break.

x

Hot and tired

2006-06-11T22:45:00.000Z

Last night's shoot was awesome. As we were on the minibus, with all the crew, driving to the location I marvelled that this was probably the most fun I have ever had on a job in my life EVER.

Forcing my way to the back of the bus it felt like I was back at school on a geography field trip - but this time I was cool with stubble and blonde highlights - and a crisp girlfriend.

Today, after a few hours sleep, I lounged in the park in my TINY shorts with my girlfriend singing golden oldies from my iPod. Now I am exhausted - lying in the sun is genuinely HARD WORK.

night

x

FRIDAY NIGHT BULLET POINTS

2006-06-09T23:47:00.000Z

• I just got in from the rehearsal for tomorrow's shoot. The shoot looks a bit manic but will be a bit of fun. Like I said before - it will be my first 'professional' shoot. I'll be a floor manager/2nd Unit director type thingie on a mad job in London at 2:00am.

• My girlfriend is at Chinawhytes right now probably being oggled by rich old perverts.

• I have cut and coloured my hair again which means I no longer look like a tramp... in fact I look rather don.

• I have upped my gym use and am pumping weights with a vengeance in order to slowly rebuild myself as a jedi.

• The artists for the music video STILL have not sent me the CD track of the music for us to master out the video.

• I might have a good link for a guy to do the Post Production Sound on this Short Film of Mine.

• I have re-started development on the feature script I have been working on since September.

• HARD GAY rocks: http://www.videouncovered.com/adds/play_page.php?id_char=bakuten

peace and love my children

x

Waiting

2006-06-02T12:24:00.000Z

I have sent emails, made phone calls, sent text messages, posted adverts on line in order to SPEED EVERYBODY UP and drag myself out of this mother fucking rut.

It's so frustrating when I am at the mercy of other people's time management. I accept that I am not paying them, but the clock just ticks... and it is hard to mativate people with anything else than money.

So the clock ticks.

And ticks and ticks.

Time is just wasting every day and I look to myself to see that I can do to acheive something even vaguely constructive. I'm gonna be 28 soon and I seem to do is sit around doing not much other than waiting.

Ah well.

My writing partner is back from Cannes today so I am gonna go have a quick meeting with him. There is a new avenue of possibility that I think I should commit some time to developing right now. It is very feasible and would be a good move right now.

So I need to put some time into that.

And God knows, I have lots of that right now.

Doom/Blondie
x

Frustration

2006-05-29T22:41:00.000Z

I am annoyed. Progress has been slowed to a halt on nearly all my projects.

1. The test commercial - the compositing has been held up even more because the animator is in hospital. (this project has been 24 months in post production already... this is disgustingly slow and NEVER to be repeated) Of course, I cannot really upset at him because he might be really sick. But it is yet another mishap in a story full of mishaps... but the time has come for me to get this project finished because ALL of my projects are due to be finished. (The hidden truth us that I have never been in a hurry to finish this project because I KNEW I would need to get more work together for my showreel before putting it together... but I now, at last HAVE that 'more work' and it is time for me to get it all done.)

2. The music video - the artists/management are sitting on their arses not sending me the remastered uncompressed copy of the song for me to arrange an output of the video. Also the editor made a boo boo and kept on telling me that he had the most recent uddated version of FCP pro when in fact, he didn't. So I have had to send the DVD out to him for him to upgrade his system before he can do the re-colouring on the new edit that I worked on.

3. The short film. My on-line editor is sick (see 1) so this means that the colour grade and VFX work might be delayed. Also, the sound editor is busy and will have trouble fitting in the job.

BASICALLY...

I am the victim of circumstance. Progress has been slow and I have been wasting a lot of time doing nothing. I have money trickling in and haemoraging out which is not good at all.

It is hard... but I need to re-gain control and make sure everything is done in order to complete this project.

I have let things slide for a while.

Which was fine.

But now it need to be brought back on track. Because I am SO CLOSE to completing them and then entering the next stage. And this stage I have been blogging about reaching for AGES and AGES. It is embarrassing when I realise how slow I have been. And the fault is all mine.

I am so close I can taste it... I cannot... WILL NOT let anything stop me.

Because the reality is... that when I enter that stage... the hard work will only just BEGIN. And that is as frightening as it is exciting and I want to get there before my 28th birthday... which is in 3 weeks.

Doom
x

i started to write a post...

2006-05-26T18:46:00.000Z

... and then decided to watch episode 17 of lost instead.

My Life is Dull

2006-05-24T18:10:00.000Z

For fucks sake.

I'm not fucking working... money is tight and my projects keep getting delayed and delayed and delayed.

and I NEED them completed to finish my showreel so then I can try and get some REAL work.

Constructiveness is inversely relative to time.

The more time you have: the less you do.

I suppose because in my head 'i have all day'

But all I seem to do is nothing.

Well for the last two days anyway.

I'm getting bored of this.

But the HARD ROCK HALLELUJAH is the ringtone on my phone now and that makes me happy.

x

HARD ROCK HALLELUJAH!

2006-05-20T22:26:00.001Z

The LORD OF DOOM is over the moon that Lordi won the Eurovision Song Contest for FINLAND - My mother country!

I am half Finnish and have been following the story of these HARD ROCKERS for the last few weeks -hoping against hope that they might bring glory to the arctic lands. Last night when they were declared the winners me and my Finnish mum were cheering and dancing like maniacs.

After years of shame and disastrous failure we, attain victory so sweet and perfect that it brings genuine joy to my heart. I am unbelievably proud and happy.

LORDI!

What a relief that these brought bring a sense of IRONY and MISCHIEF to the Eurovision Song Competition. Too many countries take it too seriously and are busy patting themselves on the back. Fuck 'em - It's all about theHARD ROCK HALLELUJAH!

Doom
xx

ps. I WANT TO DIRECT ONE OF YOUR MUSIC VIDEOS. EMAIL ME if you read this.

PPS. UPDATE At 00:45 on 21st May I just was on LBC 97.3fm radio talking to their new presenter about the Finnish win live across London! WOO HOO!

How to make sushi - in London

2006-05-17T17:44:00.000Z

Last Friday I made sushi for my mum, my sister and my girlfriend. It came out very well. It always comes comes out well. That is because sushi is piss easy to make.

Now that I have done it a few times I think it is time for me to pass some of the knowledge on because that is the way of the world.

NUMBER ONE

This is the GOLDEN RULE - BUY GOOD QUALITY FRESH FISH FROM A PROPER FISHMONGER THAT KNOWS WHAT SUSHI GRADE FISH IS.

If you want to learn about bacteria and parasites and what they do to the human digestive tract then I invite you to break this GOLDEN RULE at your leisure.

But if you want to be smart then I recommend STEVE HATTS FISHMONGER in Islington.

Steve Hatts Fishmonger
88-90 Essex Road
Islington
London, N1 8LU

Tel: 020 7226 3963
(like most decent fishmongers they are closed on Mondays - I get off at Angel Tube and walk)

They are very helpful and knowledgable - all you need to do is tell them that you are making sushi and ask them what's fresh from that morning. You can also tell them that I sent you... describe me by my physical appearance and tell them that I was the guy who was paranoid about dying... but who keeps coming back.

Anyway, I recommend (for beginners)

1. SALMON ( ask them to scale and fillet it)
2. TUNA (ask them to cut into a decent sized steak)

For Advanced Badboys (don't try and be flash and do this on your first time making sushi)

3. Sea Bass (scaled and filleted - ALL bones taken out) Use this for Sashimi only (serve with thin slices of lemon)
4. Halibut (Very expensive - be warned!)

If you want to amaze your dinner guests then I would suggest buying a small jar of Lumpfish Roe (about a fiver I think, but very tasty when used in moderation). You can use the larger Salmon eggs but they are expensive and they taste quite fishy.

NUMBER TWO

Buy the rest of your ingredients from the Japanese Centre near Piccadilly.

Get:

SUSHI RICE (other types of race are not acceptable)
SUSHI SEASONING
WASABI PASTE/POWDER
PICKLED GINGER
SEAWEED
SUSHI ROLLING MAT
GOOD SOY SAUCE

Expensive does not mean the best - ask the people in the shop what Japanese people buy.

You will also need:

CHOP STICKS
DIPPING BOWLS

and the SHARPEST KNIFE YOU HAVE - if you are rich then buy a sashimi knife... but you don't have to do this straight away.

Also buy AVOCADOS and CUCUMBER

NUMBER THREE

Buy a book on how to make sushi/or do a search on google.
I know I said I would tell you how to make sushi, and I AM. The hardest part is finding a decent place to buy the fish - I have done that for you.

With the Tuna and Salmon you bought, it should be quite easy to have a go at cutting Sashimi pieces. Just copy the style and shape that you have seen in your favourite sushi places.

Eat these with plain sushi rice that has been seasoned with toastes sesame seeds.

Use CUCUMBER and AVOCADO as other fillings and then make MAKI rolls (filling, rice wrapped in sea-weed) It's messy but very fun.

RANDOM ADVICE:

KEEP THE FISH CHILLED AND EAT ON THE DAY OF PURCHASE

I USUALLY CLEAN IT WITH SALT AND WATER

SUSHI RICE STICK TO ANYTHING IT TOUCHES.
(You will need a bowl of water with a tablespoon of sushi vinegar added nearby. Dip your hand into this every time you grab some rice.)

TRY AND PLAY SOME JAPANESE MEDITATION MUSIC whilst doing all of this- SUSHI is as much a state of mind than anything else. Have fun. It TAKES HOURS when you first do it.

There is much more to it than this - but nothing substitutes for experience and I've given you more info that I had when I started... so have a go and we'll compare notes another time... and then I'll give you some more advanced recipes.

Good luck

doom
x

Day to Day

2006-05-16T21:05:00.000Z

In my day to day encounters it is common for me to meet those who are more:

Experienced,

Knowledgeable,

or

Wiser

than me in aspects of movie-making, and decison making and blah de blah. I accept that Intelligence IS over-rated. But seldom do I ever meet those who possess more native intelligence than I.

More common, however, are the people I meet who are truly stupid in the low-intelligence sense of the word.

Most of the time I dumb down my intelligence, and I pretend to be stupid and/or ignorant. I do not consider this to be cause problems with how others perceive me because intelligence itself can be a curse.

I know I am intelligent + and this makes me arrogant = problems with people.

Better to play it down and work on my people skills. But sometimes this does not work. Because the worst people I can go up against are idiots. Because they are too stupid to recognise when they are wrong.

And I have trouble dealing with them.

The Shield Season FIVE - A Review

2006-05-11T01:29:00.000Z

I am onto episode 5 of the 11 and it is probably the most intense and well written drama on television I have ever seen.

So much has been invested into the characters and the plot lines over the past four seasons that finally with the introduction of the Kavangh character it has turned the world upside down... and given Vic Mackey his nemesis.

In the truest sense the dramatic qualities have been perfectly conceived. A lot of Amercian TV drama is written with 5 Seasons of material planned from the very start. Not every show get to go the total run, Season 3 was a bit of a let down - and fuck me if I ever thought season 4 could be bettered.

Because it has.

I'm truly tense, exciting, nervous and terrified when I'm watching each episode. The makers of the show deliberately tipped their hand just enough to let us know that this is gonna be the end...

One way or another.

And I love it.

LOVE IT.

xxx

UPDATE

I have just finished the last of the 11.

And it looks like there will be another 10 next January - this season 5 is split into 2 groups actually totalling 21 episodes all together... I cannot fucking believe what just happened at the end of 05-11. And I am just gonna have to wait.

A minature Essay

2006-05-10T23:25:00.000Z

For those of you seeking something different from your daily read- here is a short essay I wrote today about the 1985 Sci-Fi Movie The Quiet Earth. I wrote it because I actually believe that everybody who saw this film understood it wrong. It is not a science fiction movie at all. It is a film about the afterlife.

Enjoy

D/B
x

It is my belief that The Quiet Earth (1985) is an obvious story of the personal purgatory of the lead character Zac, based within the frameworks of modern religious paradigms.

It is my film beleif that the religious story here is not a metaphoric story - it should indeed be taken literally. The entire red herring of the Grid and the Effect should be ignored - the characters themselves struggle to come to any consensus and even then it is dismissed as conjecture.

The movie begins after our protagonist Zac's suicide and starts with his arrival into the next life. Zac's visit to the church and the appearance of the figure of Jesus Christ clearly contextualises the religious story within Christian ideology. This is neither a subtle theme nor a gentle metaphor. After his suicide he wakes and finds himself condemned to suffering in a place far from God

Literally Zac is in hell - but it is not Dante's depiction of hell with fire and brimstone, instead it is a more cold and harrowing place: An empty Earth devoid of love and and any spiritual quality - it is own Hell.

Acknowledge the revelations that Zac has gained every material possession that he could ever wish for and that fact that he also declares himself the president of Earth, and it compounds this idea further. Once Zac satisfies the very human vanities of power and wealth he is still alone and very much in torment.

Trapped in hell, Zac demands for God to show himself and in protest he then fires off a shotgun into a statue of Jesus on the cross in the same five spots that jesus was wounded in during his crucifixion.

This metaphor is crude but is revelas the contempt that Zac has for his own lack of salvation which becomes more apparent when he declares himself God and then seeks to destroy as much as he can.

It is in the futility of this moment when he stares into the flames ( the only traditional depiction of hell) of the burning building that he recognises his situation. About to turn the shotgun on himself and repeat the cycle he stares into the flames and experiences his revelation.

The exact nature of the revelation is unclear but it is obviously the beginning of his transformation and eventual salvation - subverting somewhat, the Christian notion of purgatory as a place that cannot be escaped from, and adopting a more modern Baha'i ideology. The Baha'i belief of hell is of a place not of fire and brimstone but of a place when man, lacking spiritual qualites, is thrust into a new world that he cannot understand - like a child born into this world with no eyes or ears. Signifiicantly the Baha'i believe that progress can still be made in the afterlife and within this paradigm is the road that Zac must follow to redeem himself.

We next see Zac appearing naked in the sea in an obvious reference to baptism - now that he has chosen his path it creates an opening for the other characters to appear.

The two characters appear and then themselves reveal that it was indeed death also that led them to this place. The flashbacks sequences and exposition that the character use follows the principles of the NDE (Near Death Experience) popularised by Raymond Moody during the 1970's in his book 'Life After Life"

The girl significantly speaks of Heaven as the 'light at the end of the tunnel' that she yearned for more than anything - her regret at being returned to the earth is obvious.

At the end of the movie when Zac sacrifices his own life to save the others. He experiences the same near death expericne but this time he reaches the light and then re-appears on a sandy shore staring out at the sea.

The clouds, the sky, the sea, the sun - he is clearly redeemed by his selfless actions - and find himself in Heaven.

No clearer allegory have I ever seen.

Copyright 2006 Lord of Doom

Wound Up

2006-05-10T11:14:00.000Z

I don't know why yesterday wound me up so much - but I had probably the worst day I have had in a while.

I delivered the first cut of the video to the artists feeling to myself that it would be fine and that they would like it.

They both watched it and whilst their reaction was quite muted they did seem to like it. At least they told me so anyway. They also told me about some other tunes of theirs which I listened to and of my favourite I told them I could do a cool video to it.

"If you don't let me do the video to that tune I'll firebomb this place"

They laughed and all agreed.

So - if they want me to do the next one then they must think I know what I'm doing.

Anyway, the call yesterday and the subsequent to-ing and fro-ing from the editors and producer and clients on the phone was draining.

Fact: It is totally unheard of for the clients to say FINE - WE LOVE THE VIDEO AS IT IS.

But I wasn't fully prepared for it - again this is a thing that experience is teaching me. Next time I will be more ready to hear this... but because it caught me off gaurd I was vexed and frustrated.

More so, however because the editors kept on telling me that they'd made the video as choppy and quick as they could. They kept repeating that they'd done all they could and they shown it to other professionals who said it was a well cut video.

Which is largely irrelevant because the client is the client - even if they pay with peanuts -they still need to get what they need to get.

Also I did some chopping and changing of the music on my short film and after about 4 hours of fucking about I got fucked off and then deleted it all because it was shit.

And the meeting today I was supposed to have with the new music guy has been cancelled until tomorrow or Friday.

So I don't know what to do.

Maybe I'll have a look at this feature script I was working on.

Oh yeah - that proper paid job - I got it. But the dates were wrong. It's for 2 days in JUNE. A sort of 2nd unit director/floor manager job on a corporate video.

x

MICKEY MOUSE CLUB AGAIN

2006-05-09T18:49:00.000Z

Yesterday I had a bit of a mad afternoon collecting and delivering the First Cut of the Music Video.

Then I had to record the voice over and some spot effects for my short movie. One of the sound effects involved punching myself in the face. Nice.

Anyway - today I got a call from the music people.

"We don't like the editing. It needs to be more 'cutty'."

There's a chiche if ever I heard one.

I spoke with the editors and they say are hard pressed to find any more footage to cut with - saying that the footage simply isn't there.

They say either

The Lip Synch is out

Or the Framing is shit

Or the Lighting is wanky.

So they are squeeze in a few more hours and then hand me the edit. People management is always hard when there is so little money involved and sometimes it is better just to have a look myself.

So then I'll have a go at cutting it - and seeing how much Lord of Doom magic I can throw in.

Which I guarantee will be fucking loads.

But I'm the director so I know what we shot and how far we can push it. I've had a chat with my producer to discuss it all ... well it's boring to go into.

Anyway, tomorrow I have a meet with the guy who should be sorting me out some music for my short film. I've decided to ditch off the licensing of the proper track because the license they are offering simply isn't good enough.

This way I retain complete control.

Anyway,

Hugs

xx

I've Seen the Future:

2006-05-08T22:21:00.000Z

Holy shit.

Anybody with more than an interest in listening to music and a broadband connection should go to this website now.

iTunes is dead.

www.pandora.com is the way of the future.

Go there now.

And remember who sent you.

Cos I'm not fucking joking - fuck about with it for 30 minutes and you'll be hooked like a crackwhore.

It is the best thing I have ever seen on the internet.

xxx